Knocking On Heavens Door
by Huzzah-94
Summary: Life is a one way dirt road, n there's only one way to go n you know its straight to the End. Its a long road,a dusty road,a dirty road, it takes a lot of turns, n its gotta lot of pot holes, a lot of bends, and the only thing the map says about this road is that it Ends. Now we're ridin thro the jaws of Hell, jus so we can tell the Tale... (SEQUEL TO STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN)
1. Only Time Will Tell

**Chapter 1: Carry On**

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><p><strong>(DARYL POV)<strong>

She was back. After all this time I finally found her…I was more than happy bout it, I really was.

How come it feels like something's still missing then?

I sat in the watch tower watching her train Carl in the court yard, it's been three months since we found and cleared the prison now. So far everything was quiet, almost too quiet for my liking really. No sign of any other groups around our area yet.

She's been teaching Carl hand to hand combat since the kid didn't know shit about defending himself without a gun, she's been spending a lot more time with the kid than anyone else, 'sides me, and sometimes Rick when he needed our help on decisions.

It didn't bother me any, the time they spent together seemed to keep them both grounded. I saw on the road Carl was gettin distant, he was gettin better with her help. He was helpin her too in a way…though I had a suspicion she was tryin to fill the void.

She wasn't ever gonna get to raise our baby…she can't teach it how to survive in this world, can't teach it how to protect itself…so she's teaching Carl.

She would've been 7 months along now… I keep picturing her with her belly swollen with my child…she would've been so beautiful. I always get a pain in my heart when I think bout it, I never thought I'd be someone who even wanted kids 'fore all this happened.

I took my eyes off her to check around the area again, this was how I always passed my day shifts on watch…I kept my eyes on her if she was outside, only lookin away to make sure there wasn't anythin 'round.

She did end up finishin her story, she told me how messed up she got after she lost our baby…she fell into a black hole for a while. Kissing Merle seemed to have shocked her out of it, only cause she knew it was wrong.

Sure I was mad at her fir it…but I know she doesn't like Merle like that, hell she wouldn't be here now if she did.

"Hey! No fair!" I heard Carl shoutin and my eyes darted over to see him lying on his back on the ground in front of my Girl.

I chuckled, she was good. Carl was growin fast he was just over a foot shorter than her now. He's in good hands, and he's gonna be a good fighter jus like her.

I liked watchin her move, she's almost back to her regular self after three months of training with the kid. For a while she didn't eat nearly enough to get her strength back…she thought I didn't notice but it wasn't hard to miss.

She was way too skinny when I found her, hell I didn't recognize her at first until I seen her face. Now that I got her to eat more and she's got most of her muscles back she almost looked like her old self again.

I liked takin watch while she was trainin cause then I had time to jus think alone. My thoughts centred on that Girl most of the time, only sometimes drifting off to my brother.

It was the middle of February now, the weather was starting to heat up…yet there's been no sign of Merle or even her brothers looking for her. Maybe we're too far off their beaten track for them to come this way, they may someday…but hopefully it'll be far in the future.

I watched her flip Carl to the ground a third time and laughed, she helped him up and patted his shoulder smiling down at the boy. She playfully ruffled his hair and jerked her head back at the prison, training was ending early today I guess.

She looked around the yard and then her eyes met mine all of a sudden, she knew I was watching them. She smirked at me and started heading over.

I watched her walk until she was out of my sight, moving my eyes to look around the yard while she climbed the stairs of the watch tower. It's been three months since we got back together, almost all our issues were worked through.

After she told me the rest of her story when we got the prison sorted out I left for a three day hunt without a word to her. She let me have my time on my own to think it through, but on the fifth day when I was on my way back, she found me.

"Rick told me you said three days…" was all she said when we broke through the bush to come face to face with each other.

She wasn't mad at me for being gone longer than I said, she had been glad I even came back. The worry and doubt in her eyes that day told me she didn't think she was good enough anymore…but she came after me anyways.

I just shrugged and tossed her a string of squirrels to carry, we shared a smile and came back home.

Home… it was still weird to call this place home, but that's what it was now. Maybe if Lori's baby comes into this world a'right I could bring up us tryin again…

I could feel her presence behind me before she even touched me, she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me from behind while I stayed sittin on the chair. Her breath tickled my neck but I kept facin forward.

She placed soft kisses on my neck, and I had to bite my lip to stifle the groan that rumbled in my chest.

"Keep doin that an' I ain't gonna be able to finish my shift, Girl." I bit out playfully.

The past few weeks the sexual tension between us has only grown, all we've done these last month's together was kiss… our relationship was takin a lot slower route then when we first met.

"Glenn and Maggie do it all the time on watch" she said against my neck.

She hasn't pushed us havin sex at all, seemed she understood I wanted to wait, guess all girls have their limits though. Hell I was barely containing myself, especially when she wore her damn yoga pants and her tight white tank top out for practice.

I pulled her around quickly surprising her, she ended up on my lap with a slight squeal. I chuckled and she glared at me playfully but didn't have time to scold me before I pulled her into a kiss, I nibbled on her bottom lip causing her to moan.

The sound alone made me get hard and having her in my lap wasn't making it any easier.

She pulled away and I looked up at her confused before she smirked at me and got off of my lap. I was about to protest when she fell to her knees in front of me.

"Girl…ya don't have ta" I breathed out, every nerve in my body was hating me for saying that...but she had to know I don't expect anything from her like that.

"I want to" she said moving her hands slowly up my thighs. I shivered at her touch and leaned back into the chair more…this woman was gonna be the death of me.

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><p><strong>(SPOV)<strong>

We've been together again for three months already and we've yet to do more than kiss…until today of course.

It's been an exhausting few months, I just figured we were both too tired at the end of the day, and Daryl seemed to wanna take things slower. I was in no position to oppose so I said nothing.

There was little to no privacy in cell block C too, put that with the fact that Daryl doesn't wanna sleep in a cell and it's pretty hard to get time alone. So I figured the perfect time would be in the watch tower, while everyone else was on lunch break.

"Consider that a preview, since ya don't wanna do anything on watch" I said as I stood up and stepped in between his legs so I could rest my arms on his shoulder lazily.

"Damn woman, where did that come from?" he asked, his voice deep and rumbly, his eyes looking up at me in a kind of haze.

"What? I can't jus give my man a lil somethin while he works to make sure we're all safe?" I replied and while I talked he wrapped his arms around my hips and brought me closer into him, his head resting on my chest.

"Well then, ya better find a good place for this to continue tonight. Cause ya can bet I'm gonna be returnin the favour." He said placing a kiss over my heart.

"Rick wants to start clearing the rest of the prison tomorrow, with Lori's due date getting closer he wants to find the infirmary and the cafeteria might even still have some good food in it." I said pushing his hair back out of his face.

His hair was always in his eyes now, but I liked it. His skin was tan and his muscles were only getting more defined by the day… honestly I couldn't picture him being any other way. He always had a layer of dirt on him and his hair was usually greasy…but he was mine.

Hell until we find the showers we all usually had some dirt on us too, not as much as Daryl's but still. I shook my head back to make my hair go behind my shoulder, mine had grown to just past my shoulder now… I was thinking on cutting it again sometime.

"After three months of going on runs, and making the fences as strong as we can…he finally wants to move further into the prison. I told him we should ages ago. Guess the flashlights n things we found on the last run'll help though" Daryl shrugged, I pulled away again only so I could sit across his lap like I had been before.

"Yeah, it'll be better now that we can all have one. It wouldn't have been that easy to clear things out if we only had one light to the group." I said, Daryl knew I agreed with him. I stood right beside him telling Rick we needed to start clearing the rest of the prison already too.

Our leader had insisted on waiting. We knew the tombs were filled with walkers, we could hear them every once and a while. It would be a dangerous task…and really if we didn't need to find the infirmary we could probably leave it.

We have one safe cell block to ourselves, there's not much need for us to risk our lives to clear anything else out. Except for Lori…we needed everything we could get for her delivery.

It's by the grace of god that she hasn't gone into premature labor, she's about 35 weeks along now if I had to guess. Just one more month to go, I had a hard time being excited that she's gonna have her baby…she's gotten this far along with it.

I knew she was way too skinny for a pregnant woman, I've been slipping her half of my rations since I got back. Daryl noticed but didn't say anything as long as I ate everything I had left.

"We'll try again someday" his words brought me out of my head and I looked at him a little surprised.

How the hell did he know what I was thinking?

"How?" I asked, there were so many meanings behind that one word… like- how are we gonna try again in this world? How will we ever be safe enough to even consider it? How can we move on from the one we lost?

"Ya get this look on yer face…when yer thinkin bout it, bout Lori, bout ours…It's the same look ya had when ya told me about it" he said looking out across the prison yard.

With us being back together it was easier to handle to hole in my heart, it still hurt sometimes…but I knew everything was going to be alright as long as he was still in my life. I yearned to feel a life growing inside of me again…it was a feeling I didn't think on while I had it before…but now I missed it.

"We'll try again someday" I said leaning against him more heavily.

It was quiet while we sat there in each other's arms, all the words needed to be said were passed through our touch. He knew I loved him and that I needed him in my life, just like I knew the same from him.

"What are we gonna do...if they find us?" I said breaking the silence after almost an hour of us just sitting there keeping watch.

"First of all, I'm gonna git some time alone with Merle…gotta have a brotherly chat with him. Second yer gonna talk to yer brothers…and depending on what their intentions are… we send them on their way. Or…or it'll break out in a full out war. One thing I know fir sur…they ain't takin ya from me again" his voice carried the conviction of a man that was willing to fight for what was his.

"Hey! You two better be decent up there!" Glenn yelled up the stairs breaking our quaint little world apart.

"We are! Some of us can actually keep it in our pants when there's work to be done ya know" I yelled back laughing. If Glenn had come up earlier he woulda seen a lot more of Daryl then he wanted.

"Rick sent me to get ya guys. He wants to go over the game plan for tomorrow" Glenn said after he got to the top of the stairs.

"Agh fine, go git Carl for watch then. I ain't leavin us without a set o' eyes on our surroundin's" Daryl said rolling his head back to look at Glenn.

After Glenn left, Daryl looked back at me, his eyes piercing into mine with the intensity I've only ever seen from him. I couldn't lose him, not again…we've kept each other alive these past few months, and I was gonna spend the rest of my life making sure he survived.

No matter what I was gonna stand by his side, we managed to get through the hurdles almost unscathed. I knew we could make it through whatever life threw at us next.

"They ain't takin you away from me again either" I said pulling him to me for one more kiss before Carl got here.

I already told him everything I knew about the Governor and Woodbury, we both agreed that if we ever ran into them it wouldn't be pretty…the Governor doesn't seem like the type to wanna live in peace. This was the first conversation we've ever had about our brothers though.

We'd stayed away from bringing them up for a while now, but I needed to know what we did if or when we ever came face to face with them again.

Daryl told me he didn't want me alone with Merle ever again, Merle broke his trust…hell he broke my trust too. Daryl was furious with his older brother, I was a little bit scared of what's going to happen when he sees him again.

I knew one thing for curtain, nothing was ever gonna go back to how it was before.

It wasn't ever gonna be the three of us against the world again. Merle screwed up. **I screwed up**…and now Daryl and I are left to pick up the pieces.

It had been three months though, maybe Merle moved on now, maybe my brothers just accepted that I wasn't going back, that I didn't belong there. I sure as hell wasn't going to go back there and check though.

Only time would tell.

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><p><strong>Ahh okay so there's the first chapter! <strong>

**I did a little time jump, and I let them be in the prison for longer then in the show...they've been there for three months, and i'm gonna pick up around the beginning of the third season now**

**I found it funny that I wrote that lil bit about carl not knowing how to defend himself without a gun last month... and then watching the new episode :P i'm soooo happy the show is back though! it was a good first episode, even tho Carl was kinda a little douche... I enjoyed the pudding part.**

**so I am thinking on having some flash backs also, maybe on Daryl's take on what happened at the little cabin at the end of the last story. and of course i'll have a chapter showing what Merle is up to as well! I wont leave Merle outa it for too long :)**

**now as to weather or not Merle finds them...i'm still debating on if it'll be sooner OR later... so review and let me know what u think**


	2. A Bit Sadistic

**Chapter 2: But Efficient**

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><p>"Okay so we'll go in the same formation we had when we cleared the yard, it'll be a tighter squeeze in the halls but it'll be safer to have eyes on every angle down there." Rick started, once Daryl and I got inside.<p>

It was a small meeting, Rick got Carol and Beth to stay with Lori so it was him, Glenn, T-Dog, Maggie, Hershel, Daryl and I standing around one of the round tables with some blue prints of the prison spread out over the top.

Maggie found them in the warden's office at the top of the stairs where Rick found the keys when we first got here.

"Why don't Daryl and I take a different route, we can clear everything faster if there's two teams. Me n Daryl can move quicker if it's just the two of us also…you guys can go in with the formation better in the halls with us not there. There'll be more room, and we can find the infirmary faster" I said making sure to play that last part, Rick knew we needed to find that one room the most.

Daryl didn't object to the idea, I knew he'd like it better if we were on our own. He didn't like having everyone trampling after him…even though that formation worked pretty well when we were clearing the yard.

This was gonna be inside, in an enclosed space. There was more of a possibility of them tripping over each other in the smaller halls…we couldn't chance someone tripping on someone else's feet if we had to run from a herd.

"Hershel can handle being the medic if anything happens, if it's serious I'm sure I can take care of it once we all get back here. Sound carries in here…I'll hear if ya guys shout for me" I added, so far no one else made to offer any other opinion.

I saw Daryl nod in my peripheral vision, he's told me on runs he likes it when we work together… we've been out a lot on our own and we do work the best as a pair.

Rick sighed and nodded "A'right, ya two'll go left and we'll take the right" he said, I could tell he didn't really like the idea but he knew we did work good together so there wasn't a lot for him to worry about.

"T, I want you n Glenn to get the riot gear ready this afternoon. Daryl, you n Sam can go through the inventory of all the weapons we took off the guards before. Take out what ya think we can use down there for now. Maggie you're on watch in tower 1, I'll take the next shift after ya" Rick said.

I wasn't really shocked that Rick had taken to being the leader, he was always the one directing us in the general right direction before. Now he got way to serious about it though, Daryl told me he made a big speech just after we lost the farm.

This wasn't a democracy anymore…. Though he still looked to Daryl and I for advice sometimes…it wasn't like it had been before.

"Rick, I think Samara and I should teach Carol and Beth some first aid. Encase anything happens to either of us…they can be our back-ups so to speak." Herschel said.

The old man always had some pretty good ideas, he had unknowingly taken over Dale's old position in the group. The one who could see what was going on before even being told.

"That sounds like a good idea, you two can talk about it more and decide when ya wanna do that. For today everyone jus carry out what was assigned to you" Rick said with a nod before he turned and walked out the door.

We all fallowed his lead and left without another word, the time for chit chat wasn't right now…we all knew to save the talking until meal times. Even then it was usually quiet unless Beth was asked to sing something.

Sooner or later someone was gonna have to talk to Rick, the group couldn't carry on like this for much longer. Not to mention it wasn't hard to see that our leader was slowly breaking at the seams, I was afraid that if something happened that Rick might just fall completely off the edge.

I shared a look with Daryl as we headed to the cell we put all the guards' weapons in before. He knew of my worries already and nodded his head.

"Hershel would be the best bet…I dunno if he'd listen to us…" Daryl said once we got to the cell at the end of the block.

"Maybe even Carl? I can see what he thinks of it…of his dad stepping down for a bit, not being the leader. I think we can handle things for a while, while he gets himself back in order. You, Hershel and I, all that time on the road didn't do him good…he's teetering on the edge Dare… it's only a matter of time before he falls" I whispered, I hated that sound carried in here.

It would be a lost cause to try get him to listen to Lori, it was obvious that they weren't doing anywhere near good in their relationship.

Daryl filled me in on that when I asked were Shane was… I had guessed when we were on the farm that there used to be something between them, but now it was confirmed, Lori had an affair with Rick's old best friend.

Then Rick killed Shane that night the farm got over run, since then Rick and Lori's relationship has never been the same I guess.

"We'll both be here if he does" Daryl said shrugging.

I smiled at him when he said that…that's why I loved him so much…he was loyal, damn it he was loyal. You were one lucky son of a bitch if Daryl Dixon decided you were worth his loyalty, his trust. I still had a hard time believing I was worth a damn thing to him.

"What?" he asked, giving me that small half smile that made me weak in the knees.

"I still have a hard time believing I'm here with you…sometimes I think if someone pinches me I'll wake up in that god awful town again, without you" I said biting my lip, I looked down at the bottom bunk where we laid most of the guns.

"That won't ever happen Girl…told ya before, they ain't taking ya 'gain" he said taking the couple steps to close the distance between us.

He put his finger under my chin and tilted my head up to meet his gaze. He stared at me and smiled again, I couldn't help but smile right back before he leaned in to kiss me. It was moments like this that made me forget how life really was outside.

I could die happy if all I had to do was stay in this room with this man for the rest of my life.

But that couldn't happen…not only cause there were people out there that needed us, but also cause the room we were standing in had an assortment of heavy artillery filling the bunk bed that we had to sort through.

The kiss was slow and gentle, though it only lasted a couple of seconds it calmed me down enough to be able to focus on the job at hand.

"So what do you think we'll need? I don't understand why we needa go through this stuff for tomorrow. I thought Rick didn't want us using guns?" I asked kneeling so I could go through the guns. The top bunk held the grenades, smoke bombs, and police batons etc.

"Naw, no guns…specially in the tombs. But we can get a few of these for the others to use" Daryl said holding up a baton.

"Yeah, n I guess it wouldn't hurt to know how much ammo we have for these too" I said picking up a riffle to inspect.

"Knives would be better than batons though…quicker kill. I'll see what Rick says" Daryl said mostly to himself as he started separating the things on the top bunk.

When he muttered the word 'knives' my hand instinctively went to the one hanging at my hip. The one my brothers pulled all their money together to get me one Christmas…the one I thought I lost back in Atlanta.

**(Flashback)**

_We were lying on the small prison mattress Daryl had dragged outa one of the cells when we first got here. _

_This was actually the first night we both got to bed at the same time, it was nice to just lay in his arms with my head on his chest and relax for once. I cherished it really…cause I knew tomorrow was gonna be hard on both of us._

"_Maybe if I get time I can clear out that wardens office for us…it'd be more private then this perch" I mumbled into his chest, his arm tightened around me for a second as his response._

"_Ya know I'll be fine tomorrow…jus like I know you will be too. We'll meet back here for dinner, right?" I asked moving to rest my chin on his chest so I could see his face. The light of the half-moon outside was barely enough for me to be able to see his face clearly but I could still tell he was looking back at me._

_His blue eyes shining ever so slightly back at mine, I took the time to memorize him in the pale moon light, just like he was doing to me._

"_Promise" he breathed out, his voice just above a whisper._

"_Promise" I nodded, moving his hand so I could lace my fingers into his. He wasn't one to do much in the way of intimate touches…but he let me when we were alone and he held me at night. _

"_Oh, I got somethin fer ya… I don't want ya goin out there with only yer bow to protect ya… and I don't want ya to be mad at me fer this" Daryl said as he sat up making me untangle myself from him. He got up and went over to his bag._

_All of our bags were still packed, out of habit…we weren't used to staying in a place for long. Even when I was at Woodbury I had never really unpacked my bag._

"_What is it Dare?" I asked sitting up kind of skeptical, why would I get mad at him?_

"_Now…jus remember…I wasn't really sure it was yers, when we first met. And then shit happened and I always forgot to give it to ya…then ya were gone all those months. It felt like the only thing I had left of you…I always kept it near me, like Merle's bike" he spoke as he rummaged through his bag until he finally produced something wrapped in a dirty white rag._

_I watched him looking down at the rag and then to me, he slowly held it out for me to take. I frowned and reached out to grab it, the familiar weight made me even more confused._

_Unwrapping the rag I gasped when the silver blade of my long lost friend came into view. I lifted it up and tested the weight in my hand and smiled…the little black initials carved into the bottom only confirmed that it was indeed my knife._

"_How the hell do you have this?" I asked, only just realizing that Daryl was the one to give it to me._

"_I…uh, I picked it up just inside the door of the rooftop we found Merle on…I didn't know it was yers. After that I kinda forgot about it, until I lost ya…I found it in my bag. Kept it on me the whole time…jus kinda remembered it again now actually" he said looking down and biting his thumb nail…he was nervous._

"_Thank you….thank you! I thought for sure I lost it!" I said excitedly as I jumped up and into his arms._

_He stumbled backwards in surprise, he seemed shocked for a second until he wrapped his arms around me too. I wasn't angry at him…how could I be? I thought the knife was long gone by now… at least now that I had it again I didn't have to rely just on my bow and arrows._

"_So yer not mad I kept it so long?" he asked setting me down on my feet again._

"_Fuck no, I'm jus glad I have it now…. n it's kinda sweet ya kept it on ya when I was gone." I said smiling as I leaned up to kiss his cheek. Seeing his face flush red I smiled harder before I moved to press a kiss to his lips._

"_Now let's git ta bed… we've got a long ass day tomorrow. I for one want it to come and go as quickly as possible" I said unwrapping my arms from his neck and moving away from him. I went n placed my knife beside my bow and turned to see Daryl already in bed waiting for me with open arms._

"_If I promise to come back with a ton of fresh meat, safely…will ya come back with all that doctor shit, in one piece?" he mumbled sleepily after we both settled in for the night._

"_Of course Dare…I thought we already established that" I said breathing in his scent as I yawned._

"_Jus wanted to make sure" he said pulling me closer to him._

**(End of flashback)**

I smiled at the memory, glad I had things like that to remember now that we've been together longer. If anything bad happened…at least I can say I had some good times with the man I love.

"We can take a grenade each too…jus as a last resort…there's no tellin how many walkers are down there. one grenade per group, if we git swallowed into a herd and can't get out at all…might as well take as many of them bastards down with us as we can" I said after a long silence of us just going through the weapons.

"I like tha way ya think Princess" he said looking down at me with a grin.

I rolled my eyes at the name, he liked bugging me with pet names…he knows so far the only ones I've liked are Girl and Babe… still he liked picking on me with 'Princess' and 'Baby-Doll'. The only reason I liked Girl is cause that's what he's always called me…and Babe was jus really simple.

"A bit sadistic…but still kinda efficient" he added grabbing two grenades to add to our pile of batons.

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><p><strong>okay so I COMPLETLY lost the will to write in the past few weeks :( and i'm sooo sorry!<strong>

**I had a really really really crazy week last week, and I think that shocked me outa my funk. it was pretty fun and probably bad lol but at least im writing again now.**

**I'm thinking on having a Merle chapter next, let me know if that's what ya guys want... or i'll keep a hold on the Merle chapter and keep writing about Sam n Daryl :)**

**I think I jus needed that one crazy week...cause I just realized i'm working soo hard on my schooling...and the only reason i'm working so hard at it is so I can go to a even bigger better (scarier) school :S lol I jus freaked out for a bit...but hopefully i'm back on track now XD**


	3. We are Both Lost

**Chapter 3: And We Won't be Found**

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><p><strong>(Merle)<strong>

Its been three months since she left me, I knew it would happen eventually… after the initial shock wore off I wasn't surprised to find her gone.

I told her brothers, and they weren't surprised she left either…though we did plan a search party for her, her trail went cold after a couple of hours. She was one of those people that if they wanted to disappear they did, we all knew she wasn't gonna be found until she wanted to be.

I kept our room, my room…but I hardly stayed in it now, I had a couple one night stands with a few women around town…none of them ever stuck, and they knew I wasn't gonna stay with them. I usually walked home in the dim light of the sunrise every morning.

"Nicolaye wants you to read him a story before he goes to sleep…he likes it when you do it lately" Ange's voice rang out through the small apartment.

Lately she's been making me have supper with her and her son, sometimes Samara's brothers would come over too.

"Agh really? Can' ya git one of his uncles ta do it?" I grumbled from my slouched position at the table.

It's not that I didn't like the kid, but since the Girl left I was tryin my hardest to not get involved with anyone else here. This kid and his mom were makin it damn hard for me though.

"He likes it better when you do it Merle, you jus gotta accept the fact that we're in your life now. Sam wasn't the only stubborn one in this family. Nicolaye wants you to be his friend…so just learn to live with it" she said smirk on her face.

She was the exact opposite of the Girl, yet there were things that still reminded me of her. Angela was tiny, and she had long chocolate brown hair down to her waist and her eyes were dark brown. Now Samara was pretty short too, but Ange was petite, she must've came up to just over 5 feet and she was probably a buck-10 soaking wet.

Where Samara was tough and trained her whole life to survive, Angela was soft and nurturing, she was the momma bear of the group. That was the thing that reminded me the most of the Girl…they would both go to hell and back for the ones they loved.

Man, and she was a little spitfire, despite how small she was I would hate to get on her bad side. She loved her son more than anything…and with the boy's dad gone now, I could see Angela was tryin her hardest to be both parents for the young boy.

"A'right then, one story. If that kid ain't sleepin after that it's not my problem" I sighed pushing myself up outa the chair.

I walked down the short hallway to the kid's room, the door was open and I could see the kid sitting up in his small bed waiting for me. The way his eyes lit up when he saw me gave me a weird feeling…it also made me sad for the boy, he didn't have his daddy to read to him anymore…he jus had me.

And fuck it all…I was a poor substitute.

The kid deserved more, but if he wanted me to be his friend I wasn't gonna be the one to let him down, he's lost too much in his little life already. If I couldn't be there for the Girl…then I'd be there for this boy and his mom.

As much as I could be anyways… I sure as hell wasn't gonna put as much of myself into this as I did with the girl. Nothin good came from that, so I wasn't gonna go down that road again.

I walked towards him and ruffled his reddish brown hair as I sat on the edge of his little bed. His brown eyes shone up at me just like his mother's did when she smiled. Apparently he looked just like his daddy…jus his eyes were his mom's.

"Ya gone read ta me?" he asked holding up his worn copy of some sorta Dr. Sues book. His accent was heavy and I wouldn't admit it was adorable to listen to his little 6 year old self string words into a sentence.

"Yea, boy I am…" was the only reply he got before I took the book from him.

Sam brought it up to Ange that Nick was behind in his development, she stated it very professionally one night after dinner, once the kid was in bed of course… she hadn't been that emotionless yet. She explained he was probably withdrawing 'cause of the loss of his dad, she said not to encourage his baby talk.

Nicolaye rarely spoke now actually…but it was just a phase, I knew it wouldn't last long. He talked to me, his cousin, and his mom occasionally…so I knew it was only a matter of time before he continued on like a normal kid.

The story was simple and short, some sorta 1 fish, 2 fish bullshit…the boys eyes were getting heavier with ever page I flipped though so that was good.

I had a "date" with this girl named Cindy later tonight, so I wanted to get outa here as soon as possible…not that I didn't wanna keep her waitin or nothin, naw nothing like that, it was purely selfish reasons.

I got up and sat the book down on the bedside table, making sure to be quiet as I slowly walked outa the room. Last time I had to read him a story he woke up on me walkin out and the torn puppy dog look he gave me made me have to stay longer.

He was obviously related to Samara…it had to be some kinda god damn curse that they could get me to do just about anything.

Fuck whatever god was up there for leading this family into my life.

It's been the worst yet best thing that's ever happened to me…it differs day to day weather I'm thankful or pissed off about it.

"Yer welcome, he's sleepin" I snapped quietly to the small woman who was cleaning off the table.

"Ya can stay ya know…I'll make some coffee if ya want" she said gently. Wiping her hands on the rag that hung over her shoulder.

"Naw, I've got a… a prior engagement" I said smirking so she'd know just what I meant, I didn't want her thinkin I wanted any part in this little family of hers.

"Stay Merle" she said firmer, she wasn't begging me…she was just flat out telling me.

It wasn't hard to see she was lonely, she was tired, and she was looking after her 6 year old son practically by herself. Her words shocked me in place…she was actually telling me to stay…no one has ever said that to me before.

Samara didn't want me…she left. What good was I doing wallowing in self-pity? I was a fucking Dixon…we didn't give two shits weather or not a girl wanted us, there were always other girls.

And the one standing in front of me now wanted me to stay.

It popped up in my mind that she didn't know Samara wasn't mine, none of them knew… so she thought we both lost our other halves… granted Sam left willingly, and she wasn't mine to begin with. Foster didn't wanna leave them.

I wasn't gonna stop her though, as she slowly closed the distance between us. Even though it was for different reasons…we both lost the one we truly loved.

_Well we'll kiss for that's how it begins,  
><span>We'll embrace just to warm our skins.<span>  
><span>I'll think of her and you'll think of him<span>._

Everything in my body screamed that this was wrong, but she was willing… I couldn't have the Girl, so why couldn't I have the woman standing before me? She was here and even if it was for the wrong reasons, she wanted me too. She wanted me to stay and I couldn't see why I should say no to that.

_And we'll talk to keep the silence from our ears,_  
><em><span>And we'll laugh because we're so close to tears,<span>_  
><em><span>We're just lonely, you know, that's why we're here.<span>_

"So…do you want the coffee now?" she giggled lightly after we broke apart.

Her cheeks were flushed and I smirked at her again, giving a quick glance back to make sure I closed the kid's door. It wouldn't be good if he woke up now that's for sure.

"Screw the coffee, bring that sweet lil ass back over here. Ya ready for ol' Merle to rock yer world t'night Darlin?" I spoke not waiting for her to come back to me I walked over and roughly pulled her in for another kiss.

It wasn't hard for me to revert back into my old self…well as far as I could go at least, I didn't have any of my ol' buddies around to supply me with any of the good stuff no more. But I knew this girl was gonna be different…with the way her son always wanted me around… I knew this couldn't jus be a one night stand kinda deal.

_'Cause you don't taste like you should,_  
><span><em>And you don't fit in my arms like she would.<em>  
><span><em>Lying in the dark, it's understood:<em>  
><span><em>We are both lost.<em>  
><span><em>And we won't be found.<em>

It was painfully obvious that we didn't belong together…but that didn't stop us.

We needed comfort, and we were both willing to offer that to each other. She didn't feel right in my arms… but I knew she needed to be held when it was all over. I held Girly when we were on the road a lot, she told me so many times how much she missed Daryl. I could hold Ange too if that's what she needed.

_We will wake up with each other in our paws,  
>You cover over white bits like I've not seen them before.<br>We'll say goodbye and then we'll say no more._

My eyes snapped open seconds before the sun started to slip through the thin curtain of the room, the way my body jerked in surprise from being pulled so suddenly from sleep woke up the small warm body that was pressed against my side all night.

She sat up slowly and stretched, pulling the blanket with her when she realized it slipped off her naked body. I let my eyes skim over the pale smoothness of her back seconds before she covered herself again. That was another thing that made her so different from Samara…Angela was pale and almost shy of her body sometimes.

She stood up with the blanket wrapped around her, leaving me in bed with only the sheet. She gathered the clothes silently as I watched her, her eyes only meeting mine to pass me my clothes.

"I'm gonna go get breakfast ready…if ya want ya can go get Nick up when yer ready… he'd prolly like wakin up n seein ya here" she said with a faint smile gracin her lips.

Well at least she wasn't kicking my ass outa the door…I thought for sure all I'd here come outa her mouth would be 'Bye'. I nodded at her words though the tight feeling in my chest was telling me to hightail it back to my room. I said I wasn't gonna have any part in this little family…but here I was.

She grabbed her clothes and left me alone in her room, I listed at the soft thud of the door closing behind her slowly. Looking at the clock above the door I sighed when I saw it was almost 6 am, I was usually getting up an' sneakin home right now.

The others never woke up this early…but I guess cause ain't none of em have lil children like Ange does.

I replayed last night in my head and tried my hardest to come up with any shred of regret. I couldn't find any. Usually I have at least a tiny bit of regret in the morning, not that I let it get to me…but it's usually always there in the back of my head.

There was no regret, I wasn't gonna stay for breakfast though, that jus seemed to be crossin some sorta line that I was positive I didn't wanna cross right now.

_Cause hearts won't buy love and nor will they sell,  
>And there is no love in this hotel.<br>Though we're walking home we know too well  
>we are both lost<br>and we won't be found._

She was my compass,  
><span>He was your map,<span>  
><span>We've come too far to be turning back.<span>

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><p><strong>As soon as I heard this song I knew it had to apply to the Merle in my story somehow someway... sometime... lol I've had this song for a couple months now. <strong>

**song credit- Passenger: The Last Unicorn **

**I was kinda sad that I only got one review on that last chapter... lol I know not much is happening in the story yet, everythin is jus taking its time so far :P I was actually thinking on putting Merle with Angela for a while, while I was writing the other story it jus came to mind. **

**hope u guys don't mind the pairing, n their relationship isn't gonna be the conventional type per say... I'm just writing it how its coming to me right now so jus hang in there for me for a bit :)**

**so... one review... PLEASE review ppl so I know if I should continue with this lol, give me ur insight too so I can also know if i'm heading in the right direction with this, and I NEED your guys' input on the whole thing I have goin with Merle now :P **

**not much info has really been given in these first three chapters I know, but it does get better I promise... lol I've jus been setting things up really. I like the pairing I made in this chapter I can see it going far if you guys like it too :)**


	4. Good spirits?

**Chapter 4: hell of a day**

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><p><strong>(Back at the prison)<strong>

We set out this morning with good spirits, thinking that even though there were probably lots of walkers still in the prison that we could handle it as long as we stuck to the plan.

Two groups, two directions, one shared goal- clear the tombs and find the infirmary and cafeteria.

Everything went perfect on mine and Daryl's end, we had just finished putting down a small herd of 10 walkers that were bunched together in the hallway when we spotted that fateful Red Cross painted on a sign along with an arrow pointing further down the hall.

We were about to head towards it when yelling echoed around us and we both froze. Our eyes wide with the knowledge of what that means for the other group.

Without a single word we both turned tail and ran in the direction the yelling came from, my blood ran cold as soon as the shouting stopped…it was never good when it went silent after those bone chilling sounds came from the people you loved.

I wasn't afraid to admit I loved this group now…they were my family, I haven't opened up to many of them yet but I still loved them. Carl and Daryl were the main people I came in contact with, then there was Rick and Glenn who I've talked with and gone on runs with while Daryl was hunting of course… the others I was working my way up to.

* * *

><p><strong>(Three hours later)<strong>

"Hey…Girl, come here" I heard his rough voice and I looked up to see him sitting on the stairs.

It took me hours to get Hershel stable again, I went through a lot of sheets and towels trying to keep everything clean. I was able to stitch up a couple of his veins, he was already fully in shock by the time we found them in the cafeteria.

They had him laid out on a trolley ready to transport him back for me. After Daryl and I cleared the walkers away from the door we were able to get him back to the cell block in no time. Time was a precious thing and I knew there was only so much time left for the old man.

If he had been a bit younger and healthier I would've thought about cauterizing the stump that used to be his foot…but I didn't wanna risk his heart giving out on us.

His daughters were now sitting at his bedside and Carol was gathering the cloths soaked red that were scattered around the room. I was in a daze walking out of his cell, blood covered my arms and I could feel some on my face too.

"Ya A'right?" I heard Daryl ask again and I looked to see he was now standing in front of me. I felt his hands grabbing my arms gently and I let the sound of his voice and the feeling of his touch calm me.

I nodded, "he's gonna be fine…" I said feeling the scratchy way my voice came out, I had been yelling around at people telling them what to get me. It was by sheer luck that my medic bag was still filled with everything that we needed.

I was glad I always made sure we had everything we could ever possibly need in that area. Plus those runs I went on with Glenn helped a lot…we almost didn't even need to find the infirmary.

Even with how the world is now, it's been a while since I've been in practice. Working in the ER I did a lot of cases like this…but it was totally different performing on someone so important to the group, I just kept thinking that we can't afford to lose him.

"Come on…lets git ya cleaned up" he wrapped one arm around me and started leading me outside.

We went over to one of the water pumps Glenn and Daryl rigged up so we could have water, it was a temporary one but it worked all the same. He had me sit down on the grass before he went over to fill the bucket, I looked around the yard and sighed, we were virtually safe here.

Things were still gonna happen though, we were never gonna be truly safe anywhere in this world. We almost lost one of our own today, his future was still unsure, he could get an infection or maybe he might not even pull through this…

Daryl kneeled down beside me with the bucket and pulled his rag out from the back of his pants.

"Ya know... when I was lil, I use ta run off ta the woods…whenever my dad managed to drag his drunk ass back home. It took me a couple a years to be able to out run the bastard…but when I was able I always ran to this lil creek I found, way the hell in the middle of nowhere. Or…least it seemed that way" his voice was gruff and quiet as he told me about his past.

As he spoke he gently cleaned the drying blood that seemed to cling to every inch of my skin. I was so glad that Daryl was here…he was being sweet and it seemed he knew exactly what I needed after the day I had.

My thoughts fully focused on his story, his voice soothing my shaken nerves.

"I'd swim around there for hours, sometimes not headin home til the moon was high up in the sky…I tried to wait as long as I could so the ol' man would be passed out when I got back…." He paused and I watched his eyes go out of focus. He was thinking too hard on his past.

"Dare" I whispered bringing a bloody hand up to his cheek, I touched him lightly and turned his face to look at me. He flinched lightly but when he heard me say his name again he relaxed and looked at me.

"I was 15 when Merle brought home that crossbow one summer, figure he stole it from somewhere…I didn' much care. It was the first time he ever got me anythin, 'fore that I'd taught myself how to make snares...Merle never stayed aroun' for long. As long as I could 'member I was fendin for myself" he said as he grabbed my hand that was on his face to wipe away the red.

"Did ya teach yerself how ta shoot?" I asked, I was curios now that he's let me in about his past. I had to be careful and not push too hard though.

"Hell yea, first thing I shot was a rabbit. Took me a while to be able to get squirrel, but once I got the hang of it I was a lot better fed that's for damn sure" he said smirking slightly, I was happy he got away from the terrible memory that almost pulled him into some sorta trance.

There would be a time for him to tell me, when he's ready…it was way too easy to see in his eyes that he wasn't ready to dig that deep into his mind quite yet.

"My brothers taught me with a sling shot when I was 5, gradually moved up as the years went on. They all wanted me to use a gun…I liked the bow more, it just felt better in my hands." I shrugged, smiling at the memory.

Our childhoods were very much different, but we could always reminisce over hunting, and our bows.

We talked back and forth about the first game we shot, what was our best shot so far. He finished cleaning me up and I took the rag from him before he could protest I started wiping his face off too.

He had the regular layer of grime on his skin and the bloody hand print I left on his cheek earlier too. The splatter of walker blood from our kills in the tombs still littered his clothes, I'd need to do our laundry soon.

Once we were both relatively cleaner, Daryl sat down and pulled me to sit between his legs, my back resting against his chest. I turned my head to look at him and watched him looking out into the field, after the long day we had him and I still pulled through.

We talked and kept each other grounded, I took a deep breath and relaxed back into him with a small smile on my face.

We actually got to sit there in silence for a couple of minutes before I felt him give a big sigh, we had our half an hour to collect ourselves…now we had to get back and deal with whatever other problems there were.

"There's somethin else, while ya were takin care of Hershel…I guess there were inmates stuck in the cafeteria" Daryl said while he lazily moved one of his hands up and down my arm. I knew he didn't want this moment to end, cause I didn't wanna ever move from this spot too.

"How did that work out?" I asked leaning my head back onto his shoulder and looking at him.

"Jus fuckin peachy a' course. Dumb assholes…one of em almost got Rick killed while we were helping the bastards clear a cell block… Rick killed him. One of em didn' listen when we said to stick together down there…he got bit, 'nother one ran off" as he spoke I could feel his chest rumble slightly in anger.

"Only three of em?" I asked sitting up and stretching.

"Naw, two of em survived… Rick tried to run after the one that ditched…but I guess he's just gone now. The last two were given the option of leavin or stickin to themselves in their own block, they chose to stay" he nodded his head slightly.

"I should go check on Hershel, n you should check in on Rick… I'll meet ya in the guard tower for our shift on watch?" I yawned out the last part.

It was late in the afternoon now, Daryl and I were gonna be relieving T-dog from watch until supper. I was glad it would be a short shift, it was originally just mine but Daryl offered to join me. After Carl and Carol alternating throughout today and then with what happened to Hershel, T was the only one to offer to take watch this afternoon.

Glenn went to give the guy a couple breaks every now and then…but other than that it was T-dog there all afternoon.

Daryl let me in on all this… because I had no idea what happened while I was in that room keeping our resident senior citizen alive. Rick, Daryl, and Glenn took care of the inmates, I was unsure on how I felt about having two of them staying in the same place we were…but I'd figure that out after.

We got up and separated from each other, each nodding a goodbye we left to do our little tasks.

* * *

><p><strong>okay... so im hella tired right now... but I'm gonna try post two more chapters tonight... I for sure have one more to post tonight though.<strong>

**i'm terribly sorry for the long waits between chapters, my life's been getting awfully busy this year... :L I LOVE writing and it makes me sad when I cant write more and post chapters for u guys :(**

**but life comes first I guess... so I'm gonna try get two more chapters out tonight at least... I hope u guys aren't mad and decide to leave this story, I always try write whenever I can.. i'm never sure when I can of course, but I do love this story so I WILL continue it for as long as I can :P**

**idea's always pop into my head at random times ^.^ I have plans for both the Dixon brothers and Samara, and the whole group at the prison :) just contemplating the Woodbury group for now**


	5. The Definition of the word MAN

**Chapter 5: = Daryl Dixon**

* * *

><p>"Sam n I are gonna head out tomorrow… hunt, scavenge, I dunno…but we needa git outa here for a day or two. I'll get her to talk to Beth n Carol bout some medical stuff n they can handle things til we get back" I said to Rick quietly.<p>

We sat at one of the round tables in our gathering place below the warding's office.

"Um…alright, it wouldn't hurt to stock up on more food. Is it really wise to take our only medic away right now though? With Hershel and Lori's days away from delivering, I would feel better if she stays here until the baby's born" Rick said scratching at his beard.

He was in charge yea…but usually when it came to me and Samara he knew he couldn't boss us around. We fallowed his "orders" of course, but when I came to when we wanna go out n hunt he let us decide that.

"Why don't ya take Carl or Glenn? I know they both've been itchin for ya to teach em more" he added and I jus raised a brow at his suggestion.

This wasn't bout getting food, or lootin fer supplies…naw this was bout gettin out of here with my woman, getting some much needed alone time, having some quiet time with jus US. It's been a long time since it was jus me n her out on a run, after the day we had today I knew we needed it.

"I ain't askin fer yer permission Rick, an' I ain't takin any suggestions. She hasn't had to do any big procedure like that prolly since before the world went to shit, she needs to git outa these fences n take a breather. If ya haven't noticed she's been by that wife of yers for the past month and a half! She hasn't gone out in a long while" I stood up and paced back and forth as I talked.

"Fine, one night…I expect ya guys back the next night. We're a family Daryl, we gotta stick together…ya know we need ya guys. Now more than ever" he sighed after he finished talking and I nodded my head once before I walked away to find my Girl.

I haven't talked to her bout this yet but I had a feelin she'd appreciate a trip outa the fences.

We could find some more hunting supplies n see if there's any food left in any towns near the prison, Glenn's been leading small groups out to the surrounding towns in the past three months. I was usually hunting or helpin fortify the fences, I've only been out to check houses with Samara a couple times.

Before she got stuck stayin here with Lori… seemed like ages ago really.

* * *

><p><strong>(SPOV)<strong>

I was surprised when Daryl asked me if I wanted to go on a run tomorrow, I smiled too big and I knew I seemed too eager… it had been over a month since I left the prison, but I did have a reason to stay.

"Lori though… she's days away from delivery. We can't risk me not being around when she goes into labor, especially now with Hershel outa commission for the time being. Its jus not the best idea right now Dare" I sighed and leaned into his shoulder.

We sat side by side in the watch tower looking out at the walkers lining the fences. They weren't a problem for now but I had a feeling we would have to take care of them before they pile up.

"well that's why yer gonna have one of those teachin sessions with Carol n Beth tonight after supper...jus let em know what they gotta do incase Lori pops while we're gone. Ya'll been preparin for this the past three months now, they must have some knowledge on…the whole process" he said, and he started biting his thumb halfway through.

The way he shifted in his seat slightly I knew the subject embarrassed him. I reached out and grabbed his hand away from his mouth, pulling it down to his lap as I entwined our fingers together.

I wanted to bring up the fact that I would've been about ready to "pop" too, but it would jus bring up painful emotions.

"Ya can face a whole herd of the walking dead but the idea of child birth is too much for ya to handle? N ya can handle bein covered head to toe in walker guck n god knows what for weeks but the thought of a woman going through the most natural thing on the planet has ya uncomfortable?" I snickered at him and he sent me a glare outa the side of his eye.

Refusing to turn his head to look at me straight on, I just continued to look at him with an easy going smile planted on my face.

"N ya call yerself a man Daryl Dixon?" I added playfully pushing him with my shoulder.

I heard the growl emanate from his chest, I looked up at him innocently before he leaned over and kissed me. It all happened in less than a second and it took me a moment to get my bearings in order before I responded to his kiss.

I wounded his ego and he wanted to prove not only to me but to himself that he wasn't afraid of nothin. Though I knew more than anyone that Daryl Dixon was practically the definition of the word man, I knew that it would get a rise outa him.

"Wan' me ta prove it to ya Darlin?" he drawled into my ear before he kissed a pathway down to my collar bone. The sound of his voice alone sent shivers down my spine in the most wonderful way and the feel of his lips set my body on fire.

My tank top strap having long ago fallen off my shoulder, he had a lot of my skin exposed for his and my own pleasure.

"I take it back…"I gasped when I felt his hand run up my thigh and stop over my center.

After we finally…"got physical" again last night it set something off inside of us. We both wondered why we waited so long again, even in the close confines of the prison we managed to make a little private section of our own in the warding's office last night.

"We should stop" he muttered as his lips left my skin, I knew I'd have another hickey.

I whined in protest but I knew he was right…our shift wasn't a long one and I knew he would be beyond embarrassed if someone walked in on us.

"Hey…jus think, maybe when we're out there we can find a nice place to lock down for one night, ya can be as loud as ya want" he winked before he kissed me one more time. We've actually never got to be together like that when we were completely alone before.

"Tempting, Daryl…very tempting. We'll see how Carol n Beth take tonight's lessons 'fore we get our hopes up though" I sighed leaning heavily into his side.

We went back to me leaning on him while we looked out into the fields and past the fences lined with walkers while our hands stayed linked together on his lap. Besides the fact that we almost lost one of our own today, it had been a pretty good way to end the day.

Sitting there with my man watching the sun start to set, the rest of our family doing their own things inside the safety of the prison walls. Hershel starting his journey to recovery, and Carol and Beth cooking somethin up while Lori totters around doing what she can with her big belly.

Everyone else was probably resting after the long day we had or they were having a meeting on what the plan was for tomorrow. Usually the meetings were before supper…then we could all just turn in for the night after we ate, if there wasn't anything else to do after supper that is.

I wish I could just head straight to bed after I ate…but I needed to teach Carol and Beth more things, especially with Hershel outa the game for now. Maybe I'd even see if Maggie wanted to sit in on tonight's lesson.

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><p><strong>alright, so I haven't proof read any of these chapters I'm posting now... I just wanted to get them out for u guys... lol hope its not too terrible.<strong>


	6. Perfect (revised)

**Chapter 6: Mornings (revised)**

**I added a bit more details and made this chapter longer :)**

* * *

><p>"Samara"<p>

I shifted in my sleep slightly, hearing him whisper my name in my ear once again I smiled as I slowly began waking up more.

"Wake up, baby. Gotta git ready to head out" as he talked his breath tickled my ear and then I felt his lips press light kisses on my neck.

I shivered and pressed my backside into his front a little bit more, enjoying the feeling of waking up in his arms once again. This was something I would never ever get tired of.

I groaned in protest cause I knew I had to get up and go check on Hershel before we left, I had to make sure Beth was gonna be alright with me leaving. I knew Carol was okay with it…but I could tell last night that Beth was apprehensive bout the whole thing.

"I gotta go check on my patient" I said as I moved to sit up and stretch, moaning when a few muscles popped in my back.

"We're outa here in 15, a'right?" he said running his hand along my back when he sat up and leaned over to me.

I nodded and grabbed my pants off the floor to slip them back on, after I checked on Hershel I'll have to come back n look for a shirt to put over my tank top…but other than that all I needed was my weapons and my boots.

"Oh are we takin the truck? Or the bike?" I asked before I left our little warding's office. The two cots Daryl brought up here for us took up a lot of the space…but it wasn't like we had a lot of stuff.

"Dunno, have to decide on that" he shrugged rubbing the back of his neck as he sat on the side of our bed. I tried not to be distracted by his broad shoulders or his bare chest… but it was hard to do when he looked so damn good.

I cleared my throat and nodded, he caught me ogling his body and just smirked at me. My cheeks turned red slightly and I turned and left before I ended up just climbing back into bed with him. We had work to do, maybe if we were lucky we'd find a good place to stay tonight and we could fully be together without havin to worry about anyone hearin us.

After checking with both Carol and Beth I did a short check up on Hershel and Lori before I headed back up to the room to grab a shirt. It wasn't overly hot out but I knew it'd be good to have at least a shirt over my tank top if we were gonna take the bike.

Spotting one of Daryl's sleeveless button downs I grabbed that quickly and threw it on. I took out the dirty faded green bandana from my back pocket of my jeans and folded it to make a headband. Daryl had mentioned my hair was getting long again.

I bounded down the stairs as I was tying my hair back since I knew Daryl would be anxious to finally get outa here. He was standing in the cell I used to call mine before we moved into the warden's office. We kept our spare weapons and duffle bags in there along with our bows and my quiver.

"Ready?" I asked from the doorway, he looked over and nodded his head.

He tossed me my empty duffle bag and shouldered his along with his crossbow. I raised my eyebrow at him and he frowned in question. I raised both brows as I waited for him to get it and I could see the wires connecting in his brain.

"Ya only got two arrows left" he said grabbing my bow from the top bunk. I sighed when I grabbed my quiver from the corner…we'd have to look for more.

* * *

><p><strong>(Time jump to the next day, out on their run)<strong>

"do ya think we woulda met if the world didn' end?" I asked as I lazily drew patterns around Daryl's naked chest, every once and a while playing with the little bit of chest hair he had.

"Dunno…maybe we woulda bumped into each other at a huntin shop, or in a bar in Atlanta somewhere" he chuckled lightly.

This was the most carefree either of us has ever been in a long time, we didn't have anyone else but ourselves to worry about right now. We built a barricade against the hotel room door and made sure absolutely nothing could get in without us knowing.

We had the honeymoon suite in some random hotel, we raided all the mini fridges and ended up with a relatively decent supper to go along with the rabbit and squirrel we caught on the way here.

Both Daryl's and my duffle bags were almost completely full with things we found, huntin and fishin gear, some canned food n even more medical supplies we took from a couple bathrooms in the few houses we looted. For a day's worth of work it wasn't a bad haul.

We ended up taking the bike but now we both wished we had taken the truck…it was gonna be a hard trip back with us loaded down with all the supplies, especially the fishin rods.

It was mornin now, but neither of us dared move an inch outa the bed. It felt like if we got up the spell would be broken. The whole world was this room and there was only Daryl and I left…I never wanted to leave this bed. After last night I can honestly say I never slept so well in my whole damn life.

After we had some morning fun we stayed in bed just talking, about anything and everything really… and now we still didn't wanna get up. It had to be mid-morning by now, the sun slipped through a little crack in the curtain letting me know it was another hot Georgia day.

"Well we're pretty much loaded up to the hilt on the bike now…should we jus head back? It doesn't feel right leavin em for much longer….what if Lori or Hershel need me?" I said breaking our reverie.

Daryl sighed heavily but nodded, it was nice to get out of the fences for once…but it wasn't smart to leave the prison when I was needed there most right now.

We got to work as a team again n kill some walkers and gather supplies, from houses and this hotel, like a well-oiled machine we worked like we've known each other our whole lives. I've been to this town with Glenn before so I knew the stores were already picked clean…the houses however still held a couple surprises in them fortunately.

More walkers drifted into town then last time, it seemed they were still forming into groups. I had no idea what was making them act like that…they were walking in herds, and they stood together if locked in a room…I was beyond confused.

Whatever was going on with them it didn't really matter to us right now, they still wanted to eat us, so we still killed them.

* * *

><p><strong>(Flash back to the day before)<strong>

"Hey do ya think Carl would want some a these comic books?" I heard Daryl asking from the other room. We were on our third house now.

Granted we were mostly looking for essentials I told him it wouldn't hurt to grab somethin small for each of the group members.

"Jus take em, maybe they'll help him act his own age again" I said while I dug through the dressers in the master bedroom.

There were some good clothes left, not to mention clean underwear and bra's, I knew the women of the group would definitely be thankful for whatever I brought back. With the limited room I stuffed a couple pairs of everything in my bag before I headed to the bathroom.

"Hey Dare! I found ya somethin" I shouted picking it up off the bathroom counter.

He came in with his crossbow in hand like it was a part of himself. I turned and pulled his arm out in front of him. I fastened it to his wrist before he could protest and I was honestly just glad it even managed to fit him.

"Really?" he asked looking down at the purple Dora the Explorer watch I put on his wrist.

"ya were the one complainin ya didn' have a watch before" I smiled sweetly at him, I laughed at the baffled expression on his face before I turned around to finish going through the cupboards.

I looked up to see him still standing behind me, our reflections in the mirror were only slightly out of place in the dusty white bathroom. This house only had three walkers in it when we got here…all three were in the kitchen. With the layer of dust on everything it was easy to tell no one's been in here since the beginning of the turn.

"We need a shower…badly" I chuckled, he nodded as he slowly came up behind me and placed his hands on my waist.

"I think ya look sexy as hell, been way too long since we did this" he rested his chin on my shoulder as he talked and when he was done speaking he turned his head to kiss my neck, I figured out that was one of his favorite things to do.

"Did what? Made out like bandits, stealin n killin' things like its second nature?" I joked before I leaned back into him a little bit more.

"Like a regular apocalyptic Bonnie & Clyde! Hell ya Baby" he hugged me from behind tightly before letting me go and stepping back. He winked at me before he left me to finish grabbing the things in the bathroom cause we both knew the sooner we were done fillin our bags we could find a good place to stay tonight.

* * *

><p><strong>(Back to that morning)<strong>

"There's more of em in the parking lot… a lot more" Daryl said after he peeked outa the thick curtain.

"Shit" I groaned and I stopped packing our bags to go look with him. I'd say it was a god send that the stairway to the second floor was enclosed with brick and a heavy metal door. It was only a two story hotel, but it was slightly more upscale then the other ones in town.

"How are we gonna git ta the bike?" I asked after I counted up to 50 walkers just standing around the parking lot bellow.

"Fuckers, guess this is the downside of us bein able to be as loud as we want hey? Though it was definitely mostly you…got a good set of lungs on ya Girl" Daryl said with a smug smirk on his face, he chuckled slightly and I punched him in the arm.

"Honestly Dare? Now's not the time to make a comment like that" I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face. Last night was one of the best nights in my whole god damn life.

"A'right lets do this! Must be somethin we picked up yesterday that can help" he said as he threw on his leather angel wing vest and shouldered his bag, he loaded his crossbow but with the amount of walkers out there I knew there were only so many we could take down with our bows.

It took us almost an hour to get to the last walker, we thought about just getting to the bike but figured we might as well take care of them, mostly we just wanted more time out of those fences.

We made some homemade bombs with the little travel liquor we took from the mini fridges, Daryl complained briefly about wanting to bring them back with us…but I convinced him that the bombs were cooler.

Together we had 30 arrows…we took down 28 of them from the second floor balcony, with the silence our weapons provided they had yet to spot were the arrows were coming from. Daryl and I threw two of our little bombs at a car a little ways away, the explosion drew a good portion of the walkers towards it.

We had three more bombs left so if we threw them just right we could get rid of all of them without having to go down there and do it in close quarters.

There were fifteen around the car and seven right below us that noticed us before the other ones got distracted by the car. I looked over to Daryl and found he was looking at me, I nodded my head letting him know we could do this.

"you can throw those two over there and I'll drop this one into the middle of this crowd…hopefully that should be good, we'll have to go down n finish em of course but it'll be easier" I said looking out at the undead below us. No matter how I thrived in this world…I'll never get used to seeing how humanity has fallen.

We had to go down and take care of three more with our knives but it wasn't anything Daryl and I couldn't handle. After that we went around and put down the walkers that didn't get blown to bits. With the sounds of the explosions we knew we only had so much time to get out of here before more came.

After we got everything packed onto the bike like a jigsaw puzzle we were off again, it was probably around 11oclock so I had to guess we'd be back home by noon.

* * *

><p><strong>(Back at the prison)<strong>

We were just pulling up so Daryl stopped the bike so I could go open the gate for us, we still haven't set up a better system for this yet but we were working out ideas for now.

I looked around and I could see Rick and Glenn were doing something with the fences over on the other side, there were people up in the court yard… I couldn't quite tell who from over here but it looked like everyone was outside.

Hershel had a pair of crutches, I could tell that much. I smiled and waved before I got to work unhooking the gate.

My hands froze and I almost had a heart attack when a gunshot echoed around the area, more fallowed and my eyes shot upwards. Walkers, they were screaming that there were walkers.

I could hear Rick yelling for Lori, I looked to see they were running now, trying to get up to our family.

I looked back at Daryl and he motioned for me to open the gate, we needed to get up there too. We couldn't lose anyone, not after everything we've been through together.

I yanked the gate open enough for the bike to fit through, making sure to secure it good before I ran over to hop on the back of the bike again, we had one more gate to open before we got to everyone.

The deafening sound of the guns going off still filled the air and I could still hear people yellin.

_Why couldn't we ever get one fucking break around here?_

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><p><strong>I didn't change much, but I did add more things :) hope this chapter is better now lol n I have another coming right up after this one, im sorry for such long waits between chapters.<strong>

**life is hectic right now, i'm trying my hardest to finish my schooling and everything on time. its very stressful**

**but I have managed to rewrite this chapter and also write a new chapter for u guys :) so hopefully its enough to make up for not being around more :(**


	7. So Dawn Goes Down to Day

**Chapter 7: Nothing Gold Can Stay**

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><p>"Lori! Maggie get her and Carl inside!" I shouted with wide eyes as I watched the scene unfold in front of me.<p>

Someone let walkers in...Daryl hopped off the bike while I kept an eye on our family, everyone was scrambling to get to a safe place or get to the ones they love…it was a nightmare.

Rick and Glenn were still running around the fence trying to get over here, Glenn was behind Rick cause he had to run back and tie the fence back together. We didn't need more walkers to deal with.

Maggie nodded after the three of them took care of the walkers closest to them and they rushed to get into the gated entry of Cell block C. I looked at Daryl and he nodded his head at me, I set my lips in a tight line but nodded back all the same.

I had to get to Lori, Hershel and Beth were safe and Carol and T-dog were working their way to close the gate. It was up to me to make sure that woman and her baby made it through whatever the world threw their way… I had to make sure they were alright.

"Clear the yard, I'll take out as many as I can on my way in" I said quickly just to clarify that was what we agreed to silently.

I took off before he could answer but I knew he'd keep an eye on me until I made it inside safely. Just like was going to keep looking back to make sure he was alright, we both knew we could each take care of ourselves… but if anything did happen we wanted to be ready to help each other. I for one never wanted to live in a world without him ever again.

As soon as I pulled open the door I knew something was wrong, there were walkers in our cell block.

Someone had to have let them in, they couldn't have opened those doors by themselves. I threw my bow into the corner and took my knife out…there was no way I could use my bow in here if there were lots of them. I had to rely on my knife to get me safely to wherever Maggie brought Lori and Carl.

Just as I killed the first walkers in our cell block an alarm started blaring out and the lights flickered on.

"God damn it all, just one big fucking joke today isn't it?!" I yelled to the ceiling.

I looked in our block to see all the cell doors open, they didn't come here, so they had to be in the tombs somewhere. I wish I had a machete or even a friggin sword to get through the herds I knew were bunched up down there.

They would all be well aware of things now thanks to the lights and the alarms, there would be no sneaking by any.

It was easier walking around the halls with the lights on, but that was really the only thing good about all of this. I didn't know what direction to head in, there were too many possibilities.

"Lori! Maggie! Carl!" I shouted not caring if it drew walkers in to me, at least it'll get them away from wherever the other three ran off to.

I was just about to head left when I heard a scream coming from the other direction. I froze in my steps feeling the all too familiar chill run up my spine from the sound of the scream. Something went wrong, things were already wrong…but now everything's much worse.

The screams got louder the closer I got, it took me under a minute to find the hall they were in…now I just had to get rid of the walkers crowding the door that I'm guessing they ran into.

I could still hear one of them screaming, if I had to guess I'd guess it was Lori. Fucking marvelous time for her to go into labor. I didn't have any of my equipment, there sure as hell wasn't anything sterile down here…first though I still had to get to her.

"Hey! Assholes!" I yelled grabbing the attention of the six undead bastards that were trying to push up against the door.

My eyes scanned around me and quickly behind me before I charged the group. I couldn't afford to get any unwanted surprises right now. First thing I did was kick the one in the front of the group, it sent the majority of them to the ground in a domino effect.

I knifed the ones who managed to keep coming for me, pushing more of them back as the ones on the ground got up again. This would be no problem at all if Daryl was here with me…but it was nothing I couldn't handle myself.

There were four left, I kicked them back again and quickly laid waste to them as fast as I could. It was risky to take them on with just my knife but it wasn't like I had a choice…Lori was in that room and she needed me. More importantly that baby needed me.

The screaming stopped but I couldn't pause to worry about why, I had to clear the bodies away from the door so I could get in.

"CARL! Open the door" I shouted pulling the last walker away from it.

I pulled on the handle but it wouldn't budge, they had something rigged to keep it closed. I could see through I little crack in the door, it wasn't able to close fully so they must've tied it.

"Open the door!" I yelled again, it was too silent in there. My heart was thudding in my ears…I was going to freak out if someone didn't answer me soon. They had to be in there, that's where the screams were coming from. I started ramming my shoulder into the metal door in hopes I could break the line.

I was just about to yell again when the door swung open and revealed a bloody Carl, his face set in stone but his eyes showed terror. If I hadn't spent so much time with him I would've missed the lost little boy look in his eyes.

"Where is she?" I asked trying to calm myself, Carl was alive…but the haunted look in his eyes told me more than enough to know that something went wrong.

He shook his head not trusting his voice to tell me what happened, I rushed past him trying not to push him out of the way. He was in shock but he'd be alright, maybe I still have the chance to save his mom if I hurried. The scene I walked into was something I wasn't entirely ready for…there was too much blood.

"Maggie! Stop" I rushed to kneel beside the woman covered in blood with the knife buried in Lori's stomach.

I checked Lori's pulse to find it barely there and fading fast. I could feel my own pulse threatening to beat out of my chest. I looked over to Maggie and she looked back at me like I was some sort of angel… I wanted to tell her I wasn't but there was no time for that.

I had nothing with me, I couldn't save her even if I tried. I could try stop the bleeding but we still had to get that baby outa there before I even attempted to close her up. By the time the baby was out safely it would be too late.

"Maggie I'm gonna grab the baby out, n I need ya to hold her open for me so I can cut the uterus without hurtin the baby. Carl keep watch at the door" I took on a professional tone because I knew they needed me to be strong right now. We had to get the baby out alive…it was too late for Lori.

Maggie had started sobbing and I felt bad for not getting here sooner, she shouldn't have had to go through that. Of all the ways this delivery could've happened I can honestly say this was far from what I expected.

"Mags I'm gonna need ya to hold it together for jus a lil while longer. I can't do this without ya, come on now. Ya have to be completely still, we can't risk cutting the baby" I kept my voice firm, none of my training prepared me to go digging around in my friends stomach for a baby though.

No anesthetic, nothing was sterile, she was lying on a god damn floor, and the only knife we had was Carl's. If Lori somehow survived she would definitely get an infection.

I wasn't a miracle worker, but this still all felt like my fault, if I had just been here maybe it wouldn't be like this. Maybe I could've saved them both. I shook my head to get all the –coulda-woulda-shoulda's outa the way…I could berate myself later. I took a deep breath before I reached into long cut Maggie made she was pretty close to the baby, I'm glad I got here before she went too far and accidently hurt the kid. I was no OB/GYN but I knew I could get the baby out safely.

My arms were covered in blood in mere seconds, but was able to see her uterus well enough to make a shallow slice through the thin wall. Maggie's hands were shaking slightly, it was a messy job and I wished more than anything that we didn't have to do this.

I took another deep breath to try calm my nerves, with Maggie shaking already I knew I had to have a more than a steady hand. I had to get the baby out now before it suffocates, with Lori passed out and mere seconds from dying I knew the baby wasn't getting any air now.

I reached a steady hand in and started to pull the slimy baby out, my heart stopped at how blue she was. She couldn't breathe.

I lifted her to my chest and rubbed on her little back, then patted as hard as I dared on the fragile little human. I pulled her away from me and did the same to the front. When I was rubbing her back again I heard her little coughs and knew I succeeded in loosening the gunk stuck in her throat.

Her small but powerful cries ripped through the deadly silence in the room. I couldn't help but smile and give a small joyous laugh…she made it. Little baby Grimes was finally here in this horrible world. I looked around me and seen Maggie still kneeling beside Lori, Carl was standing behind me, they were both looking at the small little baby I held in my arms.

"Carl your vest, she's gonna start getting cold" I said holding the baby cradled in one arm so I could use my other hand to wipe some of the guck off her face and away from her nose and mouth.

It was a jean vest but right now that was the best we could do, Carl held it out for me but I motioned for him to come closer. I still had to cut the umbilical cord and then there was Lori to take care of…it would be better if Carl had something else to keep his mind occupied.

"Now I need ya to hold yer sister, a'right? She needs you Carl, you're a big brother now, it's yer job to look after her as much as ya can." I spoke looking the boy right in the eye. His eyes were turning hard again but that wasn't something I could worry about right now.

He nodded and held open his vest so he could take his new sister into his arms. I wiped the knife off best I could before I used it to sever the last physical ties that baby had to its mother. I wrapped the baby up with Carl's vest, I could do a checkup on her later once we got back to our cell block safely.

"Go wait by the door, Maggie check if the coast is clear. I'll be right there" I said with my voice starting to weaver slightly. It was then I noticed the alarms had stopped, I had no idea when but they were gone now. That meant Daryl and Rick had everything outside under control now.

Hopefully no else one got hurt.

I looked down at the pale face of the woman I had sworn to look after. She was gonna turn, I failed once again. no matter how I tried there was always a casualty. I wanted to blame myself but I knew it was just the world we lived in today.

I could tear myself open for this…but I still had to think about everyone else out there, they still needed me. Hell I still needed them, if I didn't have them I wouldn't be here at all. I would've given up on life a long time ago.

Daryl would kill me if he heard me talking like that, he was the one I needed most of all. The world wouldn't be worth living without him in it. I kneeled next to Lori in defeat before I took my knife out of my holster, I couldn't bring myself to stab her in the face…so I sunk the blade into the back of her ear.

I heard the baby cry and my head whipped around to see Carl standing there watching me with his sister in his arms. The look on his face scared me, he didn't look like the boy I knew…he was harder now, I could practically see him building up a wall against me and it hurt that he had to see me do that to his mother.

"Let's go" I said standing up and walking towards him, he backed away from me. I was a bit shocked but I understood… he just watched me kill his mother… I wouldn't want to be around me either.

"Here let me take her, if we run into anything you'll need both hands for yer gun. I can use my knife with one hand, the sound of the gun will hurt her ears too much" I said once we got to the door.

"The hall's clear, it should be easy to get back out" Maggie spoke for the first time since I found them.

Carl has yet to say anything.

I held the baby to my chest and motioned for Maggie to take the lead, they had guns, I only had my knife and now I carried the baby.

The baby cooed and let out little whimpers every now and then but she's been a pretty quiet baby so far. I was thankful as we wound our way back to C block. There was no one in here but all the walkers had gotten put down…they must be outside again.

My eyes scanned the walkers on the ground as we walked just to make sure it wasn't anyone we knew, I had to make sure no one had gotten eaten.

When the harsh sunlight hit the baby's face she cried out at the brightness. I shielded her eyes the best I could without having to touch her, I didn't wanna get any more blood on her.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holdin in when I saw Daryl run over to us as soon as we got out of the gate. His arms engulfed me before I had time to say anything, I felt him pause and he looked down at the baby between us.

His eyes snapped up to search mine for the answers, I only nodded my head. My arms and clothes were once again covered in blood and there was probably some smeared on my face from holding the baby girl up. No words needed to be spoken about what happened in there.

I looked up just as Rick started sobbing, he kept repeating 'no' and I watched him crouch over an give Carl a questionable look…his son didn't answer him. That's when Rick fell apart.

They never had the best relationship, but watching this man who is usually so god damn strong just fall to pieces in front of everyone…there's no denying that he loved that woman.

He collapsed on the ground, and I felt Daryl's arm holding me close to his side. Maggie was wrapped in Glenn's arms now, Carl was standing there with silent tears running down his face.

"Hershel, I need ya to check the baby over. Beth take her please… Daryl we need to go on a run" I said hating the way my voice shook even as I tried to take on that same professional role I had earlier. The baby needed milk, without Lori it wouldn't survive long without formula.

"We don't got anythin a baby could eat?" Daryl asked from over my shoulder as I handed the baby to Beth.

"No, we needa find some formula…it's gonna be a couple months til she can eat solid foods, or even crushed foods" I said looked down at the baby's clear blue eyes. She was certainly Rick's.

"I'll check her over, ya best be headin out…good thing is she looks healthy, but she won't last long without getting some food into her." Hershel said, I still haven't gotten to check him over since he's outa bed now…but that could wait.

"No, not her. We ain't loosin anyone else" Daryl said swinging his crossbow on his shoulder and turning to where we left the bike.

I was beyond tired but I had to do this, for Lori and for the baby.

"Samara…maybe ya should stay, I can get Maggie or Glenn to come with me" Daryl said unstrapping some of the supplies we got from out last run off the bike, we haven't even unloaded yet and we already needed to go out.

"Naw, I needa do this. For Lori…and that baby isn't gonna die on my watch" I said stubbornly stepping around to unhook the other saddle bag full of things.

"Here's a couple bags, Maggie n I'll finish unpacking your guys' bags while yer gone" Glenn said, his voice somber, though I'm sure that's what we all sounded like.

As we hopped back on the bike I looked back at the courtyard to see Rick stand up from the ground and grab an axe before he stormed off into the prison. My heart broke for the man, it broke for his son and his new daughter who won't even get to know her mother.

This day started out amazing, I was happy…and now everything went to shit in mere moments.

"As they say- **Nothing gold can stay**" I whispered into Daryl's back as we started on down the road again.

_Nature's first green is gold_

_Her hardest hue to hold_

_Her early leaf's a flower;_

_But only so an hour._

_Then leaf subsides to leaf_

_So Eden sank to grief_

_So dawn goes down to day_

_Nothing gold can Stay._

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><p><strong>awe, so yeah...I thought about her getting there in time to save Lori...but naw... Lori had to go, sorry to those who like her :P<strong>

**as I said in that last AN I am hella busy right now..sooo much school work its driving me crazy.**

**as it is though... I will try take time to write as much as I can, it keeps me sane. lol I've been rather crazy lately as u can see I haven't been writing much :L**

**I still love u guys though, I hope I haven't lost really lots of people from my hectic schedule :(**

**(OH AND I FIXED UP CHAPTER SIX! IF YA WANNA HOP BACK THAT WAY N RE-READ IT... I ADDED SOME MORE DETAILS LOL) not sure if any of ya'll got a notification bout that...**


	8. I'd Fall to Pieces

**Chapter 8: Without You**

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><p>We were driving along not really sure where we were heading, there had to be some place that wasn't totally looted.<p>

"Daryl, looks like a daycare! Should have some things" I shouted slightly into his ear. He nodded n quickly turned off towards the small house with the playground in front.

We walked around the house til I seen a window we could get into, taking the handle of my knife and breaking the glass. I climbed in first and looked around the dusty play room, there were little cut out paper hands on the wall with children's names on them, toys scattered around the floor along with other garbage.

No one's been here since the turn.

I walk over to the wall and focus on the little hand with the name Sophie written on it, I was just about to reach up to grab it when I felt Daryl's hand land on my shoulder. I tensed up slightly not wanting to show him that the subject still bothered me…but then I remembered he wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

I relaxed and looked over at him, he gave me a small reassuring smile before nodding his head once at me and turning to look around the room for anything useful.

Looking back at the hand I felt the same twinge in my heart I felt every day since I had to put that little girl down…that pain never goes away I guess, but I was starting to get used to it. I learned I'm stronger now than I was without Daryl and I feel stronger by the day.

I started looking through the two cupboards they had in here and found some baby blankets, two bottles and a couple of diapers and wipes. I could hear Daryl picking up a few things so at least this place wasn't completely empty.

"we're gonna need a hell of a lot more diapers and baby blankets, cloths and pins even if we find any…can make cloth diapers if we have to" I said frowning. Babies needed a lot of things…we haven't had much luck finding stuff for baby's in the past few months, Lori always asked whoever went out to keep an eye out for anything.

Least there were still a lot of places we can loot around the prison. Formula was gonna be our number one thing on the list for at least four months now.

"Ya check that way, I'll head down this way…meet up in the front" Daryl said shifting his make shift poncho around so he could raise his crossbow in front of him. I nodded and headed down my hallway, it was dark in here as most of the windows were only in the rooms. There wasn't a sound anywhere which was a good sign. No walkers hopefully.

Walking around the dark hallway with my flashlight in hand and my knife in the other I tried to block out everything that happened earlier today. I had to focus on finding things for that baby, if Daryl wasn't here I dunno what I would've done.

We keep each other stable, and after watching Rick fall to pieces I know that even though he hardly talked to Lori anymore that she was his anchor in some way just like Daryl was mine. Seeing what it did to him from losing her only pushed the fact that I know I can't live without Daryl anymore.

Relying this much on someone else was new to me, I mean I haven't gotten this close to anyone before. Not even my own brothers….they were just family, I hadn't seen them in years before the turn.

I got to a door and was just about to open it when it flew in to reveal Daryl, I lowered my knife as soon as I realized it was him. Guess his hallway just went around in a short circle, he lowered his crossbow at the same time. I laughed lightly at how we were both ready to attack each other in a second.

"Nothin?" he asked looking back down the hallway I just came from.

"No, there was a room back there but nothin useful in it" I shrugged, looking back down the dark hallway.

"Should hurry up, that baby's prolly starvin by now. we'll check the kitchen n then vamoose" Daryl said pointin his flash light to the half door a couple steps down from us. Walking into the kitchen I had a sense that something was in here. Dead or alive I wasn't sure.

A sound came from the closet on our left, I looked to Daryl. His bow was loaded already…if it was a kid I knew I sure as hell wasn't gonna be able to do that again. He nodded and jutted his chin towards the door for me to open, I clenched my jaw and yanked the thing open before I chickened out.

"Fucking raccoon" I muttered after Daryl shot the stupid thing.

"Hello dinner" he said smiling at me while he pulled the dead animal out of the closet.

"I ain't eatin that thing, I have a thing bout raccoons…naw I ain't eatin it. Hell I ain't even gonna let ya put it in my bag" I said scrunching my nose in disgust. I turned to look in the cabinets in the kitchen leaving Daryl to his gross dead thing.

I would eat just about any animal, I'll admit that…but not raccoon. I've had issues with them.

"Fine whatever, ya don't gotta eat it" I heard him say before I focused on scavenging. The top cupboards didn't really have much in them. I did find some snacks that are probably expired now…but Carl might appreciate them anyways.

Hell I'll take a pop-tart any day of the week even if it's expired.

"Score!" I couldn't hold back my excitement when I opened the last cupboard and found four tins of formula, two bottle, and a couple jars of baby food.

"Look what I got" Daryl said holding up a couple of bibs and a small little pink pajamas. He had a small smile on his face that I've never seen before, it made my heart swell and I couldn't help but smile at how adorable he looked holding the small clothing.

"Niice, I completely forgot she's gonna need somethin to wear. We should go back n look through the nursery again n get a couple other sizes" I said holding my hand out for the little one piece pajamas.

He held them to his chest n looked a bit confused as to why I wanted them when he found them.

"Really Dare…ya have a dead animal in yer bag. Ya don't expect to put her clothes in with it do ya?" I raised an eye brow at him and he glared slightly before unzipping the side pocket of his duffle and shoving the clothes and bibs in there pointedly.

I stuck my tongue out at him before looking around the bare kitchen one more time, we had to make sure we got everything that baby would need for now.

"Ther, ya happy?" he asked coming over to my side and throwing his arm over my shoulder.

"For now" I said cryptically.

"We'll have a lot to deal with when we get back. Who knows what kinda shape Rick is in…and Carl watched me put a bullet in his momma's skull…new baby to take care of, unknown number of casualties so far. I didn't see Carol or T before we left." I finished and sighed leaning into his side a bit more.

"We'll take care of it when we git to it. For now we have a job ta do, find that baby food and clothing. I think we can check that one off our list now. Jus gotta handle one thing at a time. We can do it together n ya know that" he said pulling me into him for a one arm hug.

"A'right, lets git. Got a baby to feed" I said grabbing my duffle from the counter and shouldering it. His arm slipping from my shoulder he nodded at me.

The ever present weight I held on my shoulders to keep the group alive and safe for as long as I can always seemed to lessen whenever I had Daryl near me, when I first met him I never would've thought he would be the one to talk me down from a panic attack.

It's crazy that he knows just what to say to me now.

"I wonder if the prison will have any medical books on hand… I think it would be good for me to brush up on a few things. Especially with the baby there now. I jus wanna be extra prepared" I spoke my random thought out loud as we headed back to the room we came in from.

"Yer like the smartest one in the group, Girl. I think ya got it" he chuckled lightly.

"I'm more book smart then survival smart…I think you beat me in that department Dare. I mean I know how to hunt n track…but that stuff was drilled into my head growin up. You learned it relatively on yer own." I replied seriously.

"We could prolly go on like this forever…lets jus go. I don't like the feelin of this place" I looked back n seen him eyeing the wall I had been stuck lookin at when we first got here.

* * *

><p>(Back at the prison)<p>

"I don't feel right leavin everythin til tomorrow… I mean I know it's late but we should be out there tryin to look for Carol…n Rick" I said stayin by the door of our room while Daryl sat down on the bed. We were both exhausted and I knew there wasn't much we could actually accomplish if we tried to look right now.

"Ya need some rest Girl. We'll be up with the sun n head out to look…what matters right now is Lil' Ass Kicker is fed and sleepin now, Beth is lookin after her n Carl and right now we needa at least try sleep. We ain't gonna do nobody any good without a wink a sleep" he said rubbing his hands over his face.

"she's gonna be stuck with that name for the rest of her life ya know, even if they give her a real name...she'll forever be Lil' Ass Kicker" I said smiling at the memory of him holding that little baby girl earlier and feeding her.

It's been the longest day of my life so far, and there was still so much that needed to be done.

I refused to believe Carol was dead too, I haven't talked to her much but she was kinda Daryl's friend. They had relatively the same past and she liked to tease him sometimes…she was like a big sister to him. I wouldn't say she was dead until I see a body to prove it.

They found T-dog's mangled body in the tombs, along with Carol's scarf. So far two graves were dug in the field for Lori and T…a third had been started when we got back… I told them no, no body no grave….yet.

"Come lay down" Daryl pleaded when I didn't move from my spot by our door.

I pursed my lips but obeyed, I was too tired to argue any further. I climbed into bed after shrugging out of most of my clothes, I had pajamas but I was too lazy to put them on. Daryl usually just slept in his boxers, I had PJ shorts n a tank top…I was just goin with my tank top n underwear tonight.

Snuggling up to Daryl's side I could feel both of us relax into each other after the day we had. There was nothing but silence around us and I couldn't help but think it was a little bit eerie.

"What did u do? Before? Ya know what I did… ya never really talk bout yer past…ya don't have to go way back, I know ther are some…bad memories there. But what did u do jus before the outbreak?" I said biting my lip at my rambling.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, I thought he'd pull away from me but he surprised me and pulled me tighter into his chest.

"I lived my life like a one way ticket, not knowin where I was goin, or what I'd do that day…I jus fallowed Merle around, doin whatever he said we'd be doin. About got killed on more than one occasion, mostly to help Merle… I was a jackass, with an even bigger jackass for a brother. I was nobody" He said quietly for only me to hear.

"But yer somebody **now**" I told him looking up at him, memorizing his face as I lay in his arms.

"Thanks to you… you turned my life around, don't know where I'd be now if I didn't find ya again. I was lost without ya before the world ended…and I was lost without ya when we got separated. You make me a better person, I wasn't nobody before." He said with so much conviction it brought tears to my eyes.

"You do that yourself Dare, you're the strongest, most beautiful human being I've ever met. It doesn't matter who you were…it matters who you are now. And you are a good man. That's all you Daryl, I won't take credit for that" I smiled as I gently placed my hands on his face.

I reached up and kissed him softly, I hated how he never thought he was good enough, and he never took credit for how far he's come.

We were both too tired to carry the kiss on into anything else, sighing I laid my head back on his chest and listened to his heart beat until I was lulled into oblivion.

Though short lived I knew we would both get at least a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep. What woke us would be easy to predict.

Either a crying baby, or a nightmare, or one of the group members with a problem. With Glenn being the only one left of the original group right now besides us we left him in charge while Daryl and I got a couple hours of sleep.

I took everyone off watch for now, but had Glenn do a perimeter check before he turned in for the night. Other than that all choices were made by Glenn until Daryl or I woke up.

Nightmares haven't happened for me since I got back with Daryl…but after the day we had I wasn't too sure if I could say that anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Hurt**

* * *

><p>Merle Dixon stood hiding in the tree line waitin on the signal to attack.<p>

It's become something regular since the Governor finally gave the – okay- that Merle was trusted to go out on these runs.

Matthew Barrett stood talking to one of the military men left in the small army camp they scouted out a couple days ago. They've only done this a total of 4 times before, setting up an ambush and sending in someone to distract the soldiers.

This was Merle's second one though, so far they haven't done anything too extreme since he's been coming out with them, looting and killing the couple odd people that were beyond saving. There wasn't that many things that Merle had a hard time doing.

He was good at gettin the dirty work done, it was somethin he knew how ta do, and he did it well. Killing wasn't easy for him, far from it actually…he's been keeping track of how many people he's had to kill, though he talks a good game, when it all comes down to it he tries to keep the number as low as he possibly can.

They opened fire after Matt took down the first one, it was rare to find the small camp of military personnel out in the open like this. Even though they were surrounded by trees except for the dirt driveway they didn't have any fences. That alone made them an easy target.

His number was 6 now.

The Governor sent 7 of them out today to do just this. Trusting in the men he sent to get the job done. It was over before it even began, Matt shouted for them to come outa the forest.

"Merle, Tony get ta work on finishin these guys up. The rest a ya start gatherin the supplies, won't be long til the biters come" the oldest of the Barrett siblings ordered as he stuck his bayonet into the skull of the dead man laying at his feet.

* * *

><p><strong>(Back at Woodbury)<strong>

His mind was fuzzy, his whole body felt numb. He smiled at the fact that it now matched the way he felt inside, no matter how he's tried being happy with his life here…he knew something was missing. A big part was missing.

Feeling his heart beat heavily in his chest he sat up once again and picked up the needle.

_**I hurt myself today  
>To see if I still feel<br>I focus on the pain  
>The only thing that's real<br>The needle tears a hole  
>The old familiar sting<br>Try to kill it all away  
>But I remember everything <strong>_

Tossing the empty syringe down on the small coffee table he flopped backwards on his tattered old couch he brought in here a couple of weeks ago. The morphine coursing through his system, it wasn't his drug of choice really but there had been an abundance of it at the army base earlier today.

His blinking seemed too slow to him, every time his eyes closed he seen flashes of her and his baby brother. He tried to rub his eyes to get rid of the pictures but they stayed in his head. Her sweet smile and his brothers blue eyes that were jus like their momma's used to be.

**What have I become**  
><strong>my sweetest friend<strong>  
><strong>everyone I know goes away<strong>  
><strong>in the end<strong>

Flashes of their house burning down all those years ago entered his mind, that's when his Momma left him.

The day his daddy turned against him, started beating him and leaving him lying on the kitchen floor. Merle remembers watchin his father's back walkin away from him that first time. Lil Daryl didn't understand why his brother was layin on the floor when he came in from playing.

The first and only time he fell in love, the girl was his everythin, they were both 17. Merle just got outa juvie and she truly thought she could change him…damn girl jus didn't know what she was getting herself into. She left him a week after graduation. Which he didn't attend. Her black hair and sad brown eyes are what he remembers before she turned and left.

He sees his brother yellin at him to go get the Girl from the Greene's house, that he'll cover him. He hears Daryl shoutin that he better bring her back to him. Making him promise to look after her. Truthfully Daryl woulda went if it hadn't been for the herd separating them…Merle was the only one with a clear shot to the house.

Finally he sees her, looking back at him in anger and distrust. He's got a hold of her arm and he's tryin to stop her from leavin. Tells her that it was a mistake even though he didn't think it was. He knows she wants his brother, Daryl was always the better man. He's left sitting in an empty room.

_**And you could have it all  
>my empire of dirt<br>I will let you down  
>I will make you hurt <strong>_

The knock on his door confuses him momentarily, he looks at the clock on the wall and realizes he missed dinner. Ange made him promise to attend this one as he's missed the last 3, only seeing them in passing on the street lately.

He doesn't understand why the woman keeps comin back, they fucked a couple of times, and the kid likes him yeah…but he didn't think anything more was going to come outa it. He didn't want anythin more than that.

"Merle open the fucking door!" Angela's voice whispered harshly through the thin door of his one room apartment.

"What's the matter sweetheart? Need ya weekly Merle fix?" Merle rasped out as he swung the door open and chuckled.

"Nicolaye was really looking forward to seeing you tonight, Jess and Jack had to put him to bed, and he wouldn't let me do it. You can't keep doing this Merle." She started, just ignoring his questions as she walked in pushing past him a little harshly.

"I can do whatever the fuck I please Lady. Ya ain't the boss of me" he replied closing the door and turning to see the beautiful woman standing in his apartment.

She wasn't _her_, no…but she was still beautiful.

"No matter how you try to push us away, we aren't goin anywhere. I sure as hell ain't goin anywhere. Now you take all the damn time ya need to do this shit. But just remember there's a life waitin for you, keep pouting thinkin that yer alone and all that stupid fucking shit I know yer thinking…just know there are people waitin for you. I told ya before, yer stuck with us now" she said keeping her voice firm and gentle at the same time.

The words seemed to take a while to settle in Merle's brain, and then he just looked at her. Having no response, he didn't need another family, he didn't want another life.

"Whateva ya say Darlin'." He replied hoping it was enough to just get her outa here for now.

"You're gonna crash soon Merle, it ain't gonna be pretty…but I am gonna be there to help pick up the pieces" Ange said sadly before walking back out of his apartment.

_**I wear this crown of thorns  
>Upon my liar's chair<br>Full of broken thoughts  
>I cannot repair <strong>_

He didn't want to get involved with another Family, but Ange wouldn't leave him alone. He kept finding his own little surprises out on runs, the Governor didn't mind as long as Merle kept doing what was ordered of him. This went on for two weeks.

She was always a constant in his life now though, whenever he wasn't out she would bring him food and make sure he ate and had some water. Honestly he knows he wouldn't have eaten anything if it wasn't for her. The drugs keepin him in a haze, fallow orders, find your next hit.

He'll never understand why she stayed through it all.

_**Beneath the stains of time  
>The feelings disappear<br>You are someone else  
>I am still right here <strong>_

It was three weeks later he laid in bed drenched in sweat, he fucked up on a run, and got two of their own killed because he wasn't payin attention like he should've been. Governor and Matt decided to get him off the sauce.

Refused to let him back outa the gate until his blood was clear of everythin, which left him shivering in a cold sweat in bed.

He kept seeing his Brother and Samara, somewhere in this world they were probably living a totally different life now. Neither of them worrying about Merle anymore. They didn't need him.

**If I could start again**  
><strong>A million miles away<strong>  
><strong>I would keep myself<strong>  
><strong>I would find a way<strong>

He knows if his life had been different, if he had been raised right…if he tried harder. His life woulda been different.

In the haze of his cold turkey detoxing, he saw one face he knew wasn't made up by his mind trying to trick him.

Angela with her gentle voice trying to reach in to pull him outa the fog.

* * *

><p><strong>Sooo its a Merle chapter! lol sorry I haven't been very consistent on uploading... I just moved! omg!<strong>

**im living in VANCOUVER now! city life! n my classes at the art institute start tomorrow! :O**

**oh and the song is "Hurt" by Johnny Cash. I've listened to it so much and I just realized while I was writing that I pictured Merle when I listened to the lyrics.**

**I'm not very good with all the drug stuff... lol but I hope it all made sense, I wanted this chapter to show a broken Merle...and to connect him to Angela a bit more.**


	10. A Certain level of Respect

**Chapter 10: Holding a Strong Front**

* * *

><p>Rick still hasn't held his daughter, he came back to check on us and see how Carl was then he went right back down to the tombs.<p>

Glenn said he tried to go get Rick while Daryl and I were gone and it didn't turn out good. I wasn't sure what to do about him. So far all I've come up with is to take the burden of looking out for the group off his shoulders, maybe after a while I'd go down there myself to talk to him.

I was far from a grief counselor but I had to try.

"We're headin out to look for Carol, ya comin? Or gonna stay here with Lil ass kicker?" Daryl asked lookin down at me where I sat holding the small baby.

"I'll see if Beth can look after her" I said slowly standing up from the table tryin not to wake the sleeping child.

"We needa find her a crib er somethin…can't have someone always holdin her" Daryl said walkin beside me as we looked in the cells for Beth.

Most likely she was in her father's cell or Carl's, but we checked hers too anyways.

"Yeah yer right…we have some time though. You can never really hold a new born 'too much' we just have to be careful she doesn't get used to it. In three or four months if she won't go to sleep unless she's being held then we have a problem." I said quietly as I looked down at the sweet little angel.

I was never around when Nicolaye was a baby, but I was around when Lani was first born. I helped Matt's wife Jessica a lot when Lani was born. Other than that I haven't had a lot of experience with babies, not many stayed in the ER when they got brought in. Since they're so young usually a more educated doctor took over.

"Maggie and Glenn should be back from their run soon, wish we'd have found more last night then they wouldn'ta had ta go" Daryl said looking around our cell block.

"They insisted, besides…we can never have too many diapers. And this one's gonna need all the food we can git her. No harm in stockin up, plus I think they jus wanted to get outa here for a bit." I stopped walking to look up at Daryl.

We talked a bit more this morning before Glenn came up to talk to us about him n Maggie goin on a run. It was easy to tell the couple jus wanted to get away for a bit and contribute to the group. The tension in Daryl's shoulders reared its head as soon as we left our small room today.

I knew he wouldn't ease up until we were both layin in that bed wrapped in each other tonight. Still I reached up one hand and cupped his stubble covered cheek, the baby cooing in my other arm from the small movement.

"They'll be okay" I said earnestly. I wanted to reach up and kiss him but the small human sleeping between us kind of stopped me from doin jus that. He nodded though and leaned down to place a quick gentle kiss on my lips before he walked a head.

Turning into Carl's cell we found Carl sitting on the floor and Beth sitting on his bed, Carl looked at me and I had a hard time guessing what emotion I could see in his eyes.

"Hey Beth, can ya look after the baby for a bit? I'm gonna head out with the guys to look for Carol. I jus fed her before she fell asleep so she'll prolly need a changin soon" I said looking between the two teens.

I knew Carl had a crush on Beth, I've bugged him about it before. I also knew that Beth didn't see Carl in that way, she was older than him, with six years age in between them it was a big difference at their age.

**(Hours later)**

I looked down at the old watch I borrowed from Maggie back when we were still on the farm, I sighed heavily when I saw it's been two hours now and we still haven't gotten any other sign on Carol. Nothing to tell us that she was alive or dead.

"Maybe we should have some people checking around the outside, she might've gotten out somehow" I said after I turned the corner and saw Daryl crouching beside a dead walker, Carl stood on the other side and they both turned to look at me.

Daryl was actually the one to suggest we bring the kid along, get his mind on other things, or at least give him something to do. We also brought along one of the two prisoners left, so far they've proven themselves to be useful.

I let Daryl walk ahead with Carl a few times, even though he's not one to talk much I knew there was a certain respect that Carl held for Daryl. They'd at least talk a little bit, and Carl would certainly open up to Daryl more than me right now.

"What is it?" I asked when they didn't say anything, jus looked at me confused and surprised.

"Carol's knife" Daryl said lifting his other hand that I hadn't been able to see before. There in his grasp was the first piece of evidence we had since they found that damned scarf yesterday.

"Is the blood dry" I asked going into tracking mode right away, she didn't have her knife anymore…god only knows if she's survived without it.

"Almost, must be from sometime in the middle of the night. Or early this mornin." Daryl said looking back down at the decomposing body on the floor. I looked around for any other clues, Oscar caught up to us carrying the new pair of slippers he found in a cell around the corner.

"Nothin like a new pair a slippers" he smiled, then looking around he noticed how solemn we all were. I admired his attitude to help us…but we had lost people close to us. He had to realize that.

"Oscar you stay down here and help Daryl…I should go check on the baby, I wanna keep a close eye on her for the first coupla days" I said trying to keep my voice firm.

I locked eyes with Daryl, he nodded his head at me…I had the feeling we needed to talk again, at least touch base with each other. With these people relying on us now I knew we would have to hold a strong front.

"Take him with ya. I wanna look on muh own for a bit" Daryl said still holding the small knife tightly in his hand.

My heart ached for him, his friend was missing…possibly dead. It was to my understanding that Carol kept an eye on him while they were out on the road. Made sure he and everyone else was fed, I know not much could be done with a stubborn Daryl…but I was grateful she got him to eat and everything.

"A'right…I'll be back in an hour or less." I replied, I wanted to hug him or kiss just to prove I wasn't gonna leave him down here for long, but I knew he would feel uncomfortable.

Carl was a kid and we didn't really know this Oscar guy.

* * *

><p>(Cell block C)<p>

"She seems to be doing fine, what do you think Hershel?" I said standing at the door of his cell where he sat with Beth who was holding the little baby.

"She's got all the right reflexes. Seems healthy, definitely knows how ta eat … I think she's perfect" he smiled sadly down at the brown haired blue eyed baby. It was so easy to tell who the father was now that the baby was out, too bad Lori wasn't here to see.

"I wonder if that's what Carl looked like when he was a baby…she looks just like Lori…but she has Rick's eyes" I mumbled out my thoughts not even caring if they heard me or not… I was just speaking my thoughts.

"We'll have ta ask Rick" Hershel answered.

I nodded and pursed my lips into a tight line, hopefully he came around sooner rather than later. His kids didn't need to lose both their parents at once.

"Sam! Hershel!" we heard Rick yell and I was about to run out when I turned to stop Hershel.

"Stay here with Beth and the baby" I said urgently.

I know Rick went outside with Carl for a little father son talk…I hope nothing bad happened. He was calling the groups medics, not the muscle.

I ran into the small eating space and stopped short when I saw Rick place an unconscious woman on the floor, she was covered in blood.

"What happened?" I asked walking over to them slowly, it wasn't often that Rick brought new people in. Hell it's been a long time since we've even seen anyone else alive.

"I'm not sure, but she had that" Rick said motioning with his head towards Carl who held a red shopping basket filled to the top with baby formula.

"Maggie and Glenn?" I spoke the first thing that came to my mind. They left first thing this morning to scavenge things for the baby…they didn't return and it was late afternoon now.

"That's what we needa figure out, she's covered in walker blood. It helped her get to the fence, she passed out seconds after I got down there. She's got a wound on her leg, can't tell if it's a bite or not" Rick replied from his crouch beside the dark skinned woman.

"Carl why don't you take that in to Hershel and Beth, your sister probably needs to eat soon. I'll check her over" I said kneeling down beside Rick.

* * *

><p><strong>Welp, there's Michonne! <strong>

**im sorry if this story is goin kinda slow... im busy with school and all now. **

**but I will continue to write whenever I can. I Really don't wanna let go of this story yet. so I hope you guys are still holdin on to it too :)**


	11. LOOK WHO'S BACK

**Chapter 11:**

* * *

><p>"Well lookie here! And where is it y'all good people are calling home?" Merle shouted out at the random couple he found, he's been clean for no more than a week and the Governor said it was fit he was the one to go after the black samurai that got away.<p>

"Merle? Wow! Hey," Glenn stuttered out when he turned around to see the oldest Dixon wielding a heavy loaded gun and a machete walking towards them.

"Back the hell up!" Maggie said threateningly holding her gun a tad higher when Merle didn't seem to be stopping.

"Okay, okay, honey" Merle chuckled before he stopped walking a few short feet from them. He slowly moved to put his weapons on the ground in front of him.

"Jesus. You made it" Glenn said amazed, even though Samara said she left him and he was alive in that town… it was still amazing to see he was still alive.

"Can you tell me, is my brother alive? - Huh? Did the Girl make it back?" he said sounding almost like a broken man, it wasn't hard to tell he missed the two he asked about.

"Yeah." Was all Glenn replied with, from what little info Samara provided about Woodbury it was obvious that it wasn't a good place.

"Take me to them. I can help ya guys, survive, ya must be needin muscle where ever it is ya'll have taken up residence. I can even show ya where ta get a shit load of supplies. Some place not looted yet" Merle was close to begging, though it was hard to believe that older Dixon brother ever begged for anything in his life.

"We'll tell Daryl and Sam you're here and they'll come out to meet you." Glenn replied keeping his voice firm.

"Hold on. Hey, the fact that we found each other is a miracle." Merle reasoned. He knew if she had a choice, Samara wouldn't wanna see him again.

"After everything that happened it was a miracle that Daryl found Samara again. You have no idea how long it took them to finally get back to normal." Maggie spoke up, besides Daryl not many of the others knew exactly what happened between them. A lot of the others had a pretty good idea though.

"Come on, now. You can trust me." Merle said trying to sound sincere.

"You trust us. You stay here." Glenn replied putting his foot down once again.

"They're my family, man. Ya gotta bring me to them" Merle decided to try one last time. When the only answer he got back was silence he lost it.

He pulled his gun out and shot at the car window behind the two, shocking them momentarily, it was enough time for Merle to get his arms around Maggie and put the gun to her head.

"Hey, take it easy. I want ya to put the gun in the car. That's it, now get in. we're gonna take a lil ride" Merle grinned at Glenn. Watching as he reluctantly put his gun in the back of the car and held his hands slightly up.

"I'm not taking you there" Glenn said firmly, his eyes flashing to Maggie and the gun at her head.

His loyalty to the group was solid…but he loved Maggie.

"Naw, we're goin ta have a lil party back at my place, n ya two jus became the guests of honor. Now get in the god damn car, Boy" Merle growled out the last part, tightening his grip on Maggie until she was forced to give out a small grunt.

Glenn nodded and ran to get in the car, Merle looked at the side of Maggie's face for a second too long before he pushed her to get into the back seat with him fallowing in after her.

The car sped off into the distance, going the opposite way of the prison.

Just then the black woman Merle had been after steps out from behind a van, she looks on after the car to make sure it's gone. Taking in her surrounding area once more to make sure there were no more of the Governors Henchmen out there.

She limped slowly to the forgotten basket sitting on the sidewalk. It was filled with baby formula, she heard the two talking about a prison…it was obvious they had a group from what Merle had said. She needed to get this to them.

* * *

><p><strong>(Back at the prison)<strong>

The woman had been shot, as soon as I touched her leg she jolted awake and tried to reach for her sword that Rick had placed a safe distance away but still visible to her.

"We're not gonna hurt you unless you do something stupid first, alright? You gonna tell us your name?" Rick said firmly keeping her from reaching her sword by moving it another inch away from her.

"Hey it's okay, we ain't gonna hurt ya. Jus wanna check out yer leg, make sure you'll live so ya can tell us where you picked that basket up." I said gently pushing her shoulder lightly so she would lay down again. She wouldn't budge for a moment and she just looked at me, searching my eyes to see if I was lying to her.

"You're safe here" I said meeting her stare strongly. I could tell this woman didn't trust easily, she said nothing but laid down stiffly. Her eyes flicking from me to her katana and then to rick.

I went on to inspect her leg, she was covered in blood and her pants were starting to stick to her wound. I looked back at Rick and he was standing there with his arms crossed looking down at us.

"It went straight through, but we're gonna needa get ya some different clothes. Least till those get washed, the wound still needs to be cleaned and dressed properly." I said looking back to the woman on the floor. I was just about to suggest Rick go through her bag for clothes but then Daryl came rushing in and stopped short at the door.

"Everythin a'right?" he asked looking at me and to the new person laying on the floor.

"You're gonna wanna come see this" he said after I nodded, he motioned behind him with his head.

"We're gonna keep this safe n sound, the doors are all locked. You'll be safe here, and we can treat that" Rick said picking up her bag and her sword and looking around the room we used as a common area before he motioned to her leg.

"I didn't ask for your help" she said almost in a growl.

"Doesn't matter" I shrugged standing up. I would come back to take care of her leg but right now Daryl had something to show us, another clue on Carol maybe.

"Can't let you leave" Rick said before he fallowed me out of the area and locked the door between her and the cell block. I looked back at the woman for a second to see her staring back at me intensely. Rick still wasn't entirely right in the head yet…but he was right, we couldn't let her leave until she told us where she got the formula.

* * *

><p><strong>(Woodbury)<strong>

"You look just like her" Andrea said coming up behind Jackson who was standing on the wall.

"Must be related" he said back sarcastically. When Andrea first arrived it was established that she knew Samara when Matt introduced himself as a Barrett it clicked in her mind that she found the long lost brothers that Sam had been looking for before.

"So what's your guys' story? She was never really open around anyone but the Dixons… I was always curious how she seemed so prepared for this. Did you guys train her?" she asked going to stand beside him.

"Look, I'm on watch right now. Why don't you go bother the Governor?" he crossed his arms over his chest keeping his green eyes focused on the empty road ahead.

He had watched all the events unfold since Merle brought her and her companion here a few days ago. He didn't think it was right that she literally just watched her friend walk out of here, if he had the chance he would've packed his bags and hightailed it outa there with Sam when she left.

"I was just tryina make conversation" she said slightly hurt from being brushed off so uncaringly.

"Well I don't want to talk" he responded, so far things just seemed to be getting worse in the small town. It was taking a toll on the middle Barrett brother, there was only a matter of time before he gathered up his niece and nephew, their mothers, and the youngest brother and left in the middle of the night.

He knew he wouldn't be able to get the oldest brother to come with them, he was too mixed up in things here. Hell he was the one who led the men to kill the military and whoever else go in their way.

* * *

><p><strong>(Prison)<strong>

"Ya ain't comin and that's that!" Daryl huffed at me pacing for a second before coming right up to me in front of everyone. There was barely an inch of space between us, his nose flared as he breathed heavily.

"You can't stop me, I have to help. Hershel can't go, someone has to go with you guys" I stood my ground, I never wanted to even step foot in that town ever again…but I had to help. It was in my nature, I knew the prison would be safe with Carol and Carl keeping watch.

I stood nose to nose with Daryl, I wasn't gonna let him win this one. I needed to help, and I knew I would be safe as long as he was by my side anyways.

I was beyond glad he found Carol again, I knew she would be a big help with the baby. I was worried about times like this…there weren't that many of us left anymore. We needed everyone we had right now doing something.

"I'm not lettin ya go back there, ya barely got out last time" Daryl spoke quietly, though everyone else was being so damn silent that it didn't really matter… everyone heard what he said.

"I know the place like the back of my hand, I walked around every little nook and cranny when I was stuck there. I can help. Whether you like it or not I'm going, and I want you by my side the whole time…you know we can't do this without each other" I replied looking into his eyes while I laced our hands together.

He was seething but I could see his anger subside ever so slightly at my touch, he sighed deeply before nodding slightly. He withdrew from me and walked away without another word.

"Alright, we leave in an hour. I wanna scope the outside of this place first before we make any plans" Rick said sending me a nod. He started telling people what they needed to do before we left. I slipped out of the small circle of people to start on my small list I already put together in my head.

_Talk to Beth and Carol to make sure they'll be okay_

_Get Carl to kind of take over watch_

_Check my arrows and bow, load up on ammo and pack the guns_

It was already set who was gonna go, I couldn't help the feeling of pride that shot through me when little Beth was the first to volunteer. I started training her a little bit after she seen me giving Carl a couple lessons, the girl was close to 18 I certainly wasn't gonna say no to teaching her how to protect herself.

She was nowhere near our strongest fighter though, so the idea of her going was shot down in seconds. She was alright with a knife but so far she could use a bit more gun training, I promised to work on it with her when there was time.

Rick decided it would be him, Daryl, the woman who we found out is Michonne, and me. One of the prisoners volunteered but I took his place. Rick said there was no need for a lot of us to go, there needed to be some people left here to look after the prison.

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><p><strong>welp, lol I actually have two more chapters already written! I will post them all tonight to make up for my absence :( I will start writing chapter 14 tonight also. I have a lot more time on my hands now that im takinga break from school ^.^<strong>

**im 1/3 of the way to becoming a actually CHEF! **

**also what would you guys think of a time jump? since its been so long since ive written so much has happened in the show...or would you rather see the show the way im gonna write it with Samara and the Barrett brothers in it?!**


	12. Broken

**Chapter 12: It Was Merle...**

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><p><strong>(3 hours later)<strong>

"That son of a bitch!" I growled pacing back and forth as soon as we got back to the car.

Glenn was injured, but it was obvious Merle tried to avoid doing any lasting damage on him. His eye was swollen, his face bloody, I checked his ribs and none were broken. Maybe fractured a little bit but mostly bruised.

"We have to go back" I said stopping in front of Rick.

As soon as Daryl heard it was Merle who did this, I knew he wasn't going to fallow the plan. We had discussed it before we even left the prison that there was a chance Merle was still at Woodbury…we agreed to leave him be, this mission was only to get our people back.

Daryl went off the rails though, he was still angry at Merle and seeing what he did to Glenn didn't help.

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><p><strong>(Flashback)<strong>

"It was Merle" Glenn huffed out as he slumped against the wall holding his ribs. I was standing in front of him holding his face upwards so I could check his injuries.

My eyes darted to Daryl and I could see the battle he had going on in his head.

"No, Daryl I need you here with me!" I shouted as the bullets flew around us, they were not happy to have us in their town.

"He's my brother, I can talk to him" he said to Rick, though his eyes only left mine for a second.

"Sam is right, I need you here too Daryl. Do you have my back?" Rick said checking around the corner quickly before more bullets rained down on us. Chalk like smoke flew from the brick wall we were hiding around, along with the smoke bombs we laid down it was near impossible to see anything.

"Of course" Daryl replied looking at me and then Rick. His mouth was set in a line and his eyes still held uncertainty.

"I'll lay down some cover fire. Samara ya gotta help get Glenn outa here." he said holding the last smoke bomb up.

"We have to stick together" Maggie yelled helping me get Glenn standing again. I nodded agreeing with her.

"Maggie you and Sam go first with Glenn, I'll fallow behind along with Daryl. On my count" Rick said as he loaded his gun again, michonne disappeared on us as soon as we got into the town.

I knew as soon as Rick jumped the fence that Daryl wasn't going to be after him, I had my hands full with an injured Glenn…I couldn't look back. My heart ached and all I wanted to do was scream and rush back in there to find him…but that wouldn't do either of us any good.

We had to get Glenn back to the cars first, I needed to wrap his ribs. Make sure nothing got infected…and then we needed a plan to get Daryl back.

* * *

><p><strong>(Daryl POV)<strong>

I trusted Rick to get her outa there, I knew this wasn't the best plan ever but as soon as Glenn said it was Merle who did this…I seen red. Merle took My Girl from me before, and now he kidnapped and beat people I considered my family.

I couldn't let him go this time, Samara convinced me before that it wasn't all Merle's fault…what happened between them. We reconciled over all of that between me and her, but now…now I can't let it slide. He can't get away with this any longer.

I was out numbered, as soon as I seen Rick's back disappear outa sight I knew I was screwed. The smoke was starting to clear and the bullets continued to rain down on me, before I knew it I was surrounded.

"Lay down your weapons, put your hands on the wall!" yelled one of the men pointing their gun at me.

I stood there like a cornered animal, breathes coming in pants while I tried to figure out what I should do. I couldn't see Merle anywhere amongst them, there were at least 15 guns pointed right at my head. Everything in me was telling me to fight…but I knew I wouldn't make it.

In that moment I knew if it had just been me and Merle, if I was fighting to get him out of there, if there was no group or Samara…I would go down fighting. She was my reason to live now though, I couldn't go up against all these guns alone. I had no doubt in my mind that she was already royally pissed off at me as it is. She was gonna kill me if I got outa this alive.

"Daryl?"

For the first time in over a year I heard my big brothers voice calling out my name, I turned to him just as I dropped my gun. My crossbow still slung on my back, I still had half a mind to grab it and shoot my only blood relative still alive.

Seeing the slightly broken man standing among the group of men holding guns stopped me from even fighting against the person who started tying my arms behind me.

There was a deafening silence for a couple seconds where Merle and I just stared at each other, I've known him my whole life and I've never seen him look so worn out. He was a shadow of who he used to be.

After those seconds passed he hardened his face like he used to when our dad would come barreling through the door drunk off his ass when we were younger. No words could be said between us before a bag got thrown over my head knocking me outa my trance I started to fight against whoever had me tied up.

Bucking against them like a wild bull trying to break free, I could feel more hands grabbing at me trying to wrestle me to the ground before a voice boomed over all the noise.

"STOP! Get him up, gather everyone at the arena! Bring the terrorist in when I say so. For god sakes he's one man, get a handle on him" a man yelled and I was yanked to my feet.

I fought the people holding me every step of the way but my hands were tied tight and I couldn't see a damn thing. They kept me in one spot for a while before I was forced to walk again, pushed until I heard people shouting and booing. My nose flared as I tried to get my breathing under control, I hated the bag on my head.

Just when I was about to buck against the hands once more the bag was yanked from my head and I was pushed forward.

"Merle's own brother! He has betrayed us! What should we do with them!?" the man with the bandage around his head covering his eye yelled at the crowd of people. They were all angry and seemed to be fallowing right behind whatever the man said.

I noticed Andrea being held back by someone before my eyes settled on Merle, someone took his gun and machete from his belt and hand before he was pushed towards the middle with me.

They honestly thought we were in this together? I was seething with anger just looking at him…but right now he was the only one in here with me against all of these people. No matter how broken he looked before, I knew he could help me get out.

I looked around the arena and heard people start cheering "fight to the death!" over and over again, I tried to keep my stance strong and tall but it was hard with all these people chanting for my death. I looked back at Merle and he started acting it up for the crowd. Waving for them to be louder and I knew he'd done this before with them…only this time the town was kinda against him too.


	13. Complacent

**Chapter 13: Mr. Dixon**

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><p>It's been three weeks since the whole Woodbury incident, three weeks since Merle's been at the prison…along with my family. All except Matt and his wife and my niece.<p>

I ran into Jackson when we went back for Daryl, he almost cried tears of joy when he seen me. I guess they've been ready to leave now for months. We were all sitting in wait for when the Governor was gonna make another appearance, though some of us were hopeful that he wasn't gonna come back…I knew he would.

Life had to go on though, Rick still wasn't completely there yet. He spent a lot of time out in the yard or down in the tombs, I was worried about him. Carl finally picked a name for Lil Ass Kicker, though Daryl still called her that, he name was Judith now.

"Hey Auntie Sam, can you color with me?" my nephew Nicolaye asked from one of the tables as I walked through the meeting area. I smiled at the small boy, he looked just like Foster, and I had a hard time looking at him sometimes.

"Awe Nico, I have to head for my shift soon. I'll get Daryl or Merle to come color with ya okay?" I said walking over to ruffle his hair and kiss his head before I walked out to the courtyard.

I looked around and noticed Jackson and Jessie at the fence with Maggie and Glenn taking care of some of the walkers piling up against it, Ange was on watch in the south tower with Merle and Daryl and Michonne were in the east tower. Rick was standing at the far fence looking out into the forest.

Beth was inside with Carl, Judith and Nicolaye. Carol was standing with Hershel a little ways away from me. I walked over to see they were looking out towards Rick.

"Someone has to go talk to him" Hershel said looking at me. I nodded, I already knew that…hell I've been trying to think of what to say to him for weeks now.

"Why don't you handle this one? I needa have a word with Merle and Daryl" I said patting the older man on the shoulder. I waited for him to nod before I took off to go see Daryl and Michonne first, so far the governor has yet to show his face around here…but he was gonna find us eventually.

Maggie may have lied about where we were but there wasn't that many places in the area that he could look for us.

"I'm comin up!" I yelled before taking the stairs two at a time. Daryl and I were practicing on announcing our presence before we entered at least around here, too many times we supposedly snuck up on people and almost got shot in the process.

"Hey, jus wonderin if ya guys wanna have a meetin tonight after supper. Get a real plan set jus incase anythin really happens" I said as I walked in and went over to Daryl's side.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to sit across his lap, I gave him a quick kiss before I looked at him and Michonne waitin for one of them to say somethin.

"Merle was in the military before, he prolly has tons of ideas. Then again the Governor has your brother too…two very well trained military vets goin head to head…it won't be a pretty fight if that's what it come down to" Daryl said while he stretched out his back a little.

"We have better trained people though, not only just Merle. The majority of us know how to fight, fight very well together to boot" Michonne added her input and I smirked cause that was one of our advantages.

"He has more fire power then us though, we can try go out and look for more stuff but who knows how long it could take to find enough stuff to defend our home good enough" I shrugged, there were a lot of ifs and maybes in this.

"let's jus wait and see if anyone else has any bright ideas…your brothers were there a lot longer than any of us, they can help" Daryl replied while he ran his hand over my back reassuringly.

"Okay, well it's my turn on watch now…you guys go in and rest, you've been out here all morning. Carol set aside some lunch" I got off Daryl's lap only to have him pull be back down quickly.

"Miche, why don't ya go let Merle and Ange off too…everyone needs a break. We'll keep an eye out on everythin" Daryl said gruffly, I could feel him hardening against me and I wiggled ever so slightly to tease him.

"Yeah, right. I'll go do that" Michonne smirked and rolled her eyes before she walked out the door faster than I could say bye.

It's been ages since we got alone time yet again, living in such close quarters with everyone was hard on us. Though Maggie and Glenn didn't have a problem doing it with everyone listening I knew Daryl wouldn't want that. When we did get time for ourselves we went at it like a couple a teenagers, Merle and Jackson bugged Daryl endlessly on that.

Daryl got me to stand up only to pull me back down on him so I was straddling his lap, I wrapped my arms around his neck and started playing with the long hair at the base of his neck. Adding it all up we've been together for 2 years now, it took a while for us to get back to "normal" after all those lost months but we did it.

"We should move back into the warden's office… I miss ya too much Girl" Daryl spoke against my neck before he started giving me light kisses that I knew would turn into him biting.

"We see each other every day, Dare, and ya know Ange doesn't want Nico growin up in a cell…" I said pulling at his hair lightly as I tipped my head to allow him more access. I loved the feeling of his mouth on me.

"Ya can prob'ly convince her it ain't that bad. Hell the boy is in Merle's cell mosta the time anyways" Daryl almost whined and it made me raise an eyebrow at the tone in his voice. He was a Dixon…Dixons never whined to get what they want.

"Yer only talkin like that cause ya know I can't resist it, gotta play fair now Dixon, no morning voice" I tried to say sternly but I couldn't stop the smirk when I grinded down on his hardening length. He groaned into my neck before he bit me.

The odd time that I actually woke up before him I usually try wake him up with light kisses everywhere I can reach. He replies by groaning for "5 more minutes", the gravely sound in his voice is more prominent in the mornings and it makes my stomach clench with desire.

"Gonna make ya pay for bein such a bad girl now, take you over my lap, and bend you over." He spoke between kisses now, his lips on mine getting rougher.

I loved when he got desperate for me, like if he didn't take me right then n there he would explode. He was rough and in charge at times like this taking what he wanted, and you would never catch me complaining. I loved this side of him almost more than I loved the soft sweet side that could make love for hours.

"What are you waitin for Mr. Dixon?" I taunted him knowing it would rile him up more.

* * *

><p><strong>(after supper)<strong>

"We're getting too complacent, it may stay safe here forever but what if it doesn't? We needa be ready for whatever's gonna happen" I said to our little council we started just after Carl convinced Rick to step down for a little bit.

Hershel, Carol, Daryl, Jackson, Michonne, Maggie and Glenn sat around the table in the library. When we had nothing else to do we clear more of the prison, so far we've found the library and the showers recently.

"We all know she's right, I think we gotta get Merle in here to help us with the plans. Jack and him are our best bets to get together a fool proof plan, they've got the most trainin and know what we're up against" Daryl said sitting back with his arms folded.

"I think Merle would be a good addition to this plan, but is it a good idea to bring him in here? Half the people in this room don't even like him" Jackson added.

I pursed my lips but I knew he was right, Glenn and Maggie still hadn't accepted Merle being here, Michonne glared at him whenever he entered the room, hell Daryl's fist still clenched at the sight of his brother.

"He's here now though, there's no way he's gonna even start to fit in if we don't give him any chances. That man has a good heart…I seen it once before, he's lost his way again and if we just try give him a chance maybe he'll turn around" Hershel said calmly.

"He's gotta show he's with us again, Hershel's right. We've all seen Merle's good side, he used to protect Daryl and Sam with his life, and he cared about them more than himself after they got him clean" Carol added leaning onto the table and looking at all of us.

"No, he's been given way too many chances! It's bad enough we have him sleeping in the same cell block as us, I won't let him be a part of the council too" Maggie stood up angrily.

"We have to give him a chance here, no matter what you guys feel of him…Hershel is right, he's here now. we can't just kick him out when he can help us" Jackson rubbing his face with his hand tiredly before he pushed his hair out of his face.

"This item is settled for now, we don't have the time to argue about this. Tomorrow we start plannin, we should have some sorta plan set in a couple days" Daryl said standing up harshly. He looked at me before he stalked out of the room.


	14. lay it all out

**Chapter 14: the Truth will set you Free...but first it turns you inside out.**

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><p><strong>(Flashback)<strong>

"Everythin he did…it wasn't entirely his fault" I said quietly, breaking the silence that had been surrounding us since we sat outside.

The cell block was cleared, everyone was settled in, this was the first time we've actually gotten to really rest in months. Daryl and I had talked briefly over everything, before, but I never had the chance to lay it all out on the floor.

Daryl didn't answer me, we stood out by one of the fences side by side…his hand let go of mine after those words slipped out of my mouth. I lifted up head up from staring at the ground to glance at him, he deserved to have me at least look him in the eye for this.

"Those month we were apart, I was a wreck, I withdrew into myself. It was winter and we only had my car as shelter on most nights. The wool blankets did little to help…we never did anything! But…we needed each other's body heat. I made sure nothing ever happened though, I couldn't get you outa my head…my need to find you" I tried to get my story out but I wasn't sure if it was even making much sense.

"The months on the road with Merle… we were doing well. I kept looking for you, Merle kept our supplies up and made sure we had what we needed. Everything went to shit when we went to Woodbury" I continued cause it was obvious he was going to let me speak my part before he said anythin.

"When I got the news, it felt like another piece of my heart got ripped out. After losing you…I wasn't sure if there was enough left in me to carry on after I lost our baby too. I wandered around that town in a dark haze for a month. I didn't eat, I slept more than I liked…the nightmares plagued my every dream and I could never wake up from them" as I talked I could see my old self walking aimlessly around Woodbury.

It was only a short time ago but it seems like a lifetime.

"Never in my whole life have I felt more depressed then I did there. I contemplated death every day, almost starved myself to death if my family hadn't been forcing food down my throat whenever they could…it was a dark time for me. I didn't think straight. I don't expect you to forgive me for anything I did, I was reckless and stupid…" I looked at him even though his eyes were focused on the tree line.

"That morning…I woke up and Merle was actually still there. Since my brothers believed he had been the father…we never told them otherwise since Merle and I had already agreed not to give anyone info on us or the group…" I faltered, trying not to stutter when I realized what I just said.

Daryl's eyes shot to mine as soon as the words left my mouth, a lump formed in my throat and I knew I regretted saying those words to him. I said I wouldn't lie to him…but I knew this could be the thing that sends him over the edge.

He already knows I kissed his brother….he doesn't know Merle acted as if he were the father.

"They what?" his voice rumbled out the two words, his eyes glaring at me, fists clenched at his sides.

"I…we never corrected them. They assumed, we didn't tell them that… and that's how Merle and I got put in one room together. I never seen him, Dare, he was out on watch all day…I slept more than anything. But…that one morning I woke up and he was still there. I wish I could go back and change it, I wish I could slap myself silly for what I did! I kissed him…I'm not sure how long it lasted but it wasn't long…I pushed away first and everything seemed so clear to me then." I tried to get the rest out as fast as I could.

He was angry now…and my heart broke for having to put him through this.

"I knew I made a mistake the second I did it, my brain shocked me back into reality…I knew I had to get out of there. I had my little bag packed already, all I needed was water really. There was no way I was getting out with a weapon so I accepted the fact that I may die out there, but anything was better than staying there" I could feel my heart beating a mile a minute.

We stood in silence for a couple minutes that seemed to stretch out into eternity.

"There's no excuse for everything I did, if I just tried harder…fought better… maybe I could've found you. Our baby would still be alive." I added into the silence that surrounded us.

That lost month I spent in Woodbury, I wasn't sure how I could fix that… I wasn't myself there. I had a mental breakdown or something and I didn't have the capabilities to help myself. I know more people have faced worse than I did and made it out, I don't know why I broke down there. I'll probably never fully understand.

"No, it ain't your fault that baby's gone…outa everythin…jus promise ya wont blame yourself for that" Daryl said finally looking me in the eye for longer than a second. His voice shook slightly under the usual rumble, I could see his thoughts rushing around in his head.

He needed time to think about everything, I knew he wasn't goin to say anythin more to me until he's had time to think now.

I nodded slowly, he searched my face one last time before he took off to the prison. I stayed standing there watching his angel winged back walk away…he was my angel, I couldn't live without him. I turned back to look out at the fading light of day and I knew it had to be around 5 o clock now. The days were short right now.

I heard the gate open and I didn't even need to look to know Daryl was going out. There was a slight panic in my heart that he may not come back…but I had to trust him, I owed him that much.

I looked just in time to see him disappear into the woods and Rick slid the gate closed with a resounding bang.

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><p><strong>Not much has happened in the past few chapters but I figured they needed to happen, I want to show exactly where everyone is with themselves and the relationships now. I wasn't sure if I was going to show this part...but I hope it came out alright anyways.<strong>

**as it was put in another chapter, Daryl went out hunting, he told Rick he'd be gone 3 days, Sam went to go find him on the 5th day he was gone, he was already heading back and they found each other. walking back together with the squirrels Daryl caught :) jus encase ya needed a review lol.**


	15. Can we go On?

**Chapter 15: Let's be Us again.**

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><p>Everything didn't go back to normal as soon as we got back to the prison, we were awkward and didn't quite know what to say to each other.<p>

Naturally Daryl ended up sleeping out on the perch near the stairs, he would never sleep in a cell. He spent his whole life trying to be a slightly better man than his brother and father…he didn't wanna just fall into the regular Dixon life and end up in a jail cell.

I felt the need to give him space so I took a cell on the bottom floor, he didn't question it or object. We were reunited but I knew now that didn't necessarily mean we were back together. I had things to work on, stuff I had to make better first.

It took over a month before we even kissed again, I waited until Daryl initiated it. This relationship was going to go by his schedule now. I wasn't going to push him into anything unless he asked.

One kiss, it wasn't heated or needy, it was a gentle barely there kiss that took me by surprise. It lasted no more than 30 seconds but it made my smile last the rest of the day. He only gave me a small smirk and nodded his head to me before he left the guard tower since his shift was over.

The weeks went by and the kisses became a regular thing very slowly, at first it was just that one, almost two weeks later he kissed me again, for longer this time. After that it became a day to day thing.

I tried to talk to him about everything some more, I knew we needed to talk about it. I had to figure out a way to make it up to him, he said he was okay with it but the look he gets in his eyes sometimes…he hasn't forgiven me yet, not really.

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><p><strong>(DARYL POV)<strong>

I was never taught how to deal with these kinda things, it ain't like I never witnessed this kinda relationship stuff happen before. Its jus I don't want that to be the way ours ends up.

The guy or girl cheat on the other, they fight and fight…sometimes beat each other, it's only messier if there's kids involved. Never seen a relationship make it through any of it. I don't wanna give up on us though…I know we could make it if…hell I don't even know.

I missed kissing her though, I missed holdin her in my arms. It killed me having her right here but yet she still seemed to be miles away, lost.

I was tryin to forgive her, I wanted nothin more than to be able to hold her like I used to. It was Merle's voice in my head snickering away though…tellin me he was the daddy to MY kid. That she never wanted me to begin with, she didn't want my kid so she told em it was Merle's.

I guess it would be funny…she and I are both so insecure with ourselves right now that we can't even be together. I was angry, and hurt mostly but I couldn't stop the feeling in the back of my head that she never wanted me anyways.

Things weren't going anywhere between us for almost two months now. We talked about everything that happened while we were apart, we knew every little detail now. I knew this next talk would be digging into the deeper things.

Neither of us know what to do to get things back to normal for us, but somethin has to be done…

* * *

><p><strong>(3<strong>**rd**** person POV)**

They had been leading up to this fight for a good month now, after spending some time apart yet in the same building it was bound to happen. It was a sunny day for once there wasn't a cloud in the sky, spring was upon them now.

The group was working on making the fences more secure while Samara was out with one of their trucks to lead the small group of walkers away. The ground was bumpy but they had done this a couple time already when the groups of the dead got too big around the fences.

The music was blasting in the car as she drove them away and the group started to quietly head out with the wood they found to reinforce the poles. Daryl, Glen, Rick, and Maggie carried two each. It was a slow job but it had to be done if they wanted to keep their new home.

There were at least 15 walkers trailing behind the truck, Carol, Carl, and Beth were working on killing them through the fences but it was easier to do this then wait until they were taken care of. They didn't have the time to keep on doing that and make the fences stronger, not when the walkers just kept showing up in these numbers.

The gas they had in this truck is what they had left over after they filled their other vehicles and Daryl's bike. It was okay if they burned through it faster than normal.

The group was just moving the new posts into place when the truck let out a loud booming sound, black smoke came from the hood and one of the tires seemed to have sunk into a pit of mud. The walkers were quick to surround the vehicle.

"SAMARA!" Daryl yelled out before he dropped the plank he was helping Glen set. He took off towards the truck before the others could stop him.

Crossbow loaded he took down the ones closest to him, after he shot his last arrow he took out his knife before the walkers that were coming his way got too close. There had to be about 10 left, just as he stabbed the one in front of him bullets flew by. Rick and Glen had their guns with the homemade silencers, Maggie had her knife on her.

The walkers banging on the truck door got thrown back when she pushed open the door roughly. Using her knife she started clearing the ones around her, without her gun she wasn't equipped to be doing what she was. He told her she was gonna need it…

The others came running towards the truck to check the damage, they didn't expect the truck to last that long but they were hoping they could get a couple more rides outa it.

"Engine blew out, tires stuck in some mud, we should try get it back up to the yard so I can get a look at it" Daryl said when he got to the truck, taking in the look of his girl all bloodied up. None of it hers of course. The fear that ran through him whenever walkers got too close to her still rushing through his body. He would never let it show though, he still loved her…but they weren't exactly together anymore.

Just as she opened her mouth to say something she was getting dragged under the truck in the next couple of seconds. It took them each a second to react since it happened so fast.

"Daryl!" she screamed when she realized she dropped her knife, turning onto her back as she tried to kick the dead thing off her legs. Praying to god it hadn't scratched her yet.

He reached down and yanked her back, draggin the walker with her, he stabbed it in the head before he pulled her up to her feet roughly. Maggie helped get the dead man's grip off of her jeans, Glen and Rick took care of the strays that were making their way closer to them.

Daryl had his hands on her leg checking for any tears in the fabric of her pants, finding none he stood and glared at her before stalking off back to the prison.

No words were said for a minute as they all watched him walk away, the other three not entirely sure what was going on.

"That's it" Samara grumbled out before she took off after him. They had to talk this through completely now, it was obvious they couldn't handle the silence anymore. They cared for each other but the things between them were in the way, Samara knew she had to make it right now.

Rick, Glen, and Maggie watched the couple stalk off much in the same way. The group knew this was coming too, both had been stewing in this phase that didn't seem like it would last long.

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><p><strong>(Samara POV)<strong>

"Daryl! Don't just walk away from me, stop!" I finally caught up to him and I grabbed his arm to stop him from walking any farther. He whipped himself around fast and was right in my face before I even knew it.

"What do you want from me, Girl?!" he yelled into my face after he yanked his arm outa my grip, his breathing coming in pants like he had been running, his nose flared and his eyes were squinting back at me…he was pissed off.

"We can't go on like this Daryl! I fucked up, I need you to tell me what I have to do to make this better! Cause I can't keep walking around here acting like we never meant anythin to each other!" I yelled back. It seemed to be the only way we could get this conversation out.

We both had fiery spirits, though Daryl hardly ever showed his angry side now a days, we both know no matter what we were fighting about it was going to be big if we cared about it.

"Who says that ain't true huh? Ya seemed to be able to do it so easily before! Yer the one who left me, yer the one who ran off with Merle!" his anger was only growing, the slight growl in his words letting me know he's reaching a point I've never seen him at before.

"That's what this is about huh? I told ya, Daryl, I don't want him! I want you! It's ALWAYS been you. I will spend the rest of my life tellin ya that until you get it into that thick skull of yours!" the words were tumbling out of my mouth without any real filter, but they were all true.

"You chose HIM! Don't you understand? Ya ran off with him jus like any other dumb bitch, they always wanted Merle, and you chose him to be the father…" he turned his back to me, his words coming out in less than a yell as each one passed.

I watched his head hang down at that last word, my heart breaking as the subject of our lost baby came up once again. It was a complicated messy subject, no matter what it was always going to hurt us. Daryl was more than hurt right now though. He was broken…I broke him.

"I didn't mean to…Dare…I" I reached forward to put my hand on his shoulder, the slight tremor I felt made the lump in my throat grow. He flinched away from my hand and I could feel tears brimming my eyes.

Dixons don't cry…at least that's what I've come to know about them.

"What if we never found each other? What if ya had that baby, MY baby… would ya have let em know then? Would MY kid have known?" his voice shook as he talked.

"God damn it, Girl, don't you get it? For once in my life I had somethin…somethin that coulda been completely MINE, and you went giving it to Merle… it ain't even the fact that the kid's gone now…that's not on you or me, not even on Merle. But WE made that baby together Samara. That's supposed to mean somethin" he gave me one last broken look before he hung his head and continued to walk away from me.

Hearing the tone in his voice and the way he said my full name…he never called me Samara… the tears flowed freely down my face and I couldn't think of one fucking thing to say. He was the fighter, since he was born he's been fighting to live and he's always stood strong against everything this world had to throw at him.

…and I **broke** him.

I couldn't think of any words to say but I went after him anyways, I wouldn't let him walk away like that. I vowed to spend the rest of my life making this better, I wasn't going to give up.

"Daryl, please…tell me what I have to do. 'Cause I'll do anythin to make this right, just please lets be us again…I'm sorry for the way I lost my head, there's no other way to explain it except I was lost…I screwed up and I know I've hurt you, but I can't go on without you. You have every single part of me, I'm standing here with everything to lose…all I know is I don't ever wanna see the end as long as you're by my side" I pleaded, fighting the urge to drop to my knees. Every ounce of pride I had in me was completely vanished in front of this man.

I would fall to my knees and beg him if that's what it took.

"Please…you know we can't do this on our own anymore" I added

"Jus…I needa think…Girl, I…" he stood there staring at me the whole time I talked, with his eyes half hidden behind his hair. He looked at me with his squinted eyes and his jaw set, his mind going a mile a minute I could practically see his thoughts.

He huffed and paced back and forth a couple times, I left him to his thoughts, Daryl was usually all thoughts so I was used to this.

"Fuck it" he murmured and the next thing I know I'm being crushed against his strong chest. His arms wrapping around me tightly like he was never gonna let me go again. My arms went around him and I held on just as tight.

"We got a lot to work on…but I'm willin to start over again…you're MY girl…no matter what you'll always mean somethin to me" he breathed his words into my neck.

"Only yours. Everything I am and everything I have will always and forever be yours. Nothing will ever be kept from you again" I promised as I held onto him as hard as I could.

We were nowhere near normal in our relationship yet…but we moved passed one of our biggest hurdles.

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><p><strong>im not sure I like how the beginning of this chapter is...but I wanted to get something out for you guys.<strong>

**let me know what you thought, cause I was really unsure of this whole chapter . I think I could've done a better job, sorry :( n I know some ppl will think their argument didn't go on long enough...I don't think so either but I was hella unsure on how to write this **

**also i'm sorry its kinda all over the place on the POV's lol I jus felt like doing that this chapter...**


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